We are joined by Shellie the Shiv, a friend and mobster from the Salt Lake State, to review the dumbest of all the Potter films. Enjoy!tony says:
ok shells what did u think of the half blood prince?
Shellie the says:
wait, are we starting? i need some warning.
tony says:
this is how we roll!
Shellie the Shiv says:
ok ok...i cant work under these conditions. but....it was very slow, yes?
tony says:
oh it was super slow
tony says:
it was probably the worst harry potter film i've ever seen
Shellie the Shiv says:
i mean, i was on the edge of my seat for the first 5 movies, but this one...i was bordering on stabbing myself in the eye.
tony says:
so would you agree with me that it was the worst?
Shellie the Shiv says:
Oh yes. Definitely.
Shellie the Shiv says:
BUT...I did find my new idol in this movie.
tony says:
who was this idol?
Shellie the Shiv says:
Lavendar Brown. That girl knows how to get what she wants!
tony says:
she was terrible!
Shellie the Shiv says:
And who wouldn't want a hot little ginger like Ron.
Shellie the Shiv says:
Terribly....awesome?
tony says:
"hi ron"
tony says:
"hi ron"
tony says:
induce vomitting
Shellie the Shiv says:
Persistence.
Shellie the Shiv says:
Ok, so would you want her to be more like Hermione? And send evil canaries at your head?
tony says:
hmm.. good point...
tony says:
BUT
tony says:
this brings up another huge issue i had with the film...
tony says:
if we're sitting here talking about lavender and evil canaries... how crappy really was this film?!
Shellie the Shiv says:
Hahaha...extremely crappy. And I love Harry Potter. Okay, best like of the film: "Did you and Ginny do it?" I almost fell out of my seat.
tony says:
that was pretty funny but come on shellie... it was a film where really nothing at all happens until the very end
tony says:
it needed WAY more bellatrix
tony says:
and way less ginger kids
tony says:
and WAY WAY less relationships with ginger kids
Shellie the Shiv says:
But honestly, even the ending was less than dramatic. The whole Dumbledore death scene was excruciatingly boring.
tony says:
see thats true too... i literally had to convince my brain that my throat was parched.. so i had an excuse to leave the theatre to get a drink
Shellie the Shiv says:
I willed all available fluids in my body to my bladder so I could escape to the bathroom.
tony says:
see! just a terrible film.. was the book like this?
Shellie the Shiv says:
The book was really slow...but the Dumbledore scene with the stupid potion crap was a lot better. Like, he was acting like a madman...now that would have been entertaining!
tony says:
ok al is here im making him join in
tony says:
ok al we have made a lot of comments already on the film.. since u just got here.. what did u think of it?
Alex says:
worst potter film EVAR
Shellie the Shiv says:
Amen brother
Alex says:
it was like watching a 2hr trailer for the last two films
tony says:
is this an overall consensus? do u think anyone out there liked it?
Shellie the Shiv says:
I know people out there liked it. But they're die hard Potter fans that can't admit defeat.
Alex says:
I think ppl liked it just because its a potter film
Alex says:
oh well, wait for the last ones
tony says:
i really felt like it was a crappy 2 -hr wizard special episode of degrassi high
Shellie the Shiv says:
Wtf is degrassi high?
Alex says:
canadian highschool melodrama
tony says:
what is degrassi high?!?!!?
Alex says:
don't worry I don't watch it either
Shellie the Shiv says:
Don't yell at me! I'm American!
tony says:
ok hmmm.. 2 hr wizard special episode of.. one tree hill?
tony says:
is that better?
Shellie the Shiv says:
.............................
Shellie the Shiv says:
OKay, let me just say Dumbledore should have gone out in a blaze of glory and I was very saddened by the way they depicted his death. That is all.
tony says:
but seriously im really tired of the relation/emotion side of harry potter.. we seen this crap for 5 movies already.. when is voldemort and others gonna start blowing things up?.. the dude is supposed to be a badass no?
Shellie the Shiv says:
This is not Transformers. There's no Megan Fox bending over a motorcycle. Wait for it.
Alex says:
well if I had my way of the potter films, everyone would be strapping wands and dual weilding them and doing side dives while shooting death curses
Shellie the Shiv says:
Death curses at Megan Fox?
Alex says:
neva!
Shellie the Shiv says:
I would give that two thumbs up for sure.
tony says:
if megan fox was in it... i'd torture curse myself
Shellie the Shiv says:
Is there a spell to cause blindness and deafness? That's what I would need.
tony says:
there must be... al would polyjuice to become shia
tony says:
sigh
Shellie the Shiv says:
Or maybe polyjuice himself to become the funny little dog-robot?
Alex says:
love potion, don't need polyjooze
tony says:
u sicken me
tony says:
shellie u fail for bringing up that harpy
Shellie the Shiv says:
See! Lavendar is his idol too! Or was that Romilda Vane?
Shellie the Shiv says:
I just had to get one jab in....you can't blame me for that Tony.
tony says:
i can and i will!
tony says:
oh i want to give props to luna in the movie..
tony says:
ok so im giving this potter film a 3.5/10 it needs to be covered by the cloak of invisibility
Shellie the Shiv says:
I give it 5.4/10. The extra .4 is for the awesome shoe tying moment between Harry and Ginny.
Alex says:
that was just strange
tony says:
al do u get what she means? she told me in the states people giggled at that part.. u guys need to grow up!
Alex says:
3/10 for me
Shellie the Shiv says:
I was in a theater full of 14 year old boys, maybe that's why.
The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Dumbledore
Tony's Pick: Luna
Shellie's Pick: Lavender
Line of the Movie:
Al: I don't remember
Tony: anything luna said
Shellie: "did you and ginny do it?"
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