The Hurt Locker

Alex says:
Why do they call it the hurt locker
tony says:
I think you should field this one
Alex says:
cuz its an allegory of the locker he's built around himself with his need for an adrenaline fix
Alex says:
review done
tony says:
seriously though.. whens the last time you seen a film this intense?
Alex says:
never
Alex says:
this movie is a rush, beginning to end
Alex says:
its an essay and the thesis is intensity, every segment is a closing arguement
Alex says:
DONE!
tony says:
i agree.. i literally had my hands on my head in a nervous stupor... i changed sitting positions every 3 minutes or so
Alex says:
seriously though, I liked how they had the follow up scenes after the adrenaline rush is over, and it shows them shaking and dealing with the stress
tony says:
yeah! the character's were great.. very real.. the main guy defines what it is to "doesn't afraid of anything"
tony says:
i have nothing bad to say about this film.. it was a it long.. but thats about it
Alex says:
I think hes too crazy to afraid of stuffs to be given that title
tony says:
see i dont think he IS crazy though.. he had too much heart
Alex says:
it was well executed, only bad thing was all the big stars got iced
tony says:
how did you feel when you saw kate from lost?
Alex says:
it was Kate, had Aaron with her too
tony says:
thats it? i thought u loved kate?
Alex says:
Jack > Kate
tony says:
for the first time in several reviews i totally agree with you
Alex says:
I give this film 8 IED / 10
tony says:
well i give hurt locker 8/10 solid.. but i don't like watching modern war films.. but no fault of the films
tony says:
al you're a wild man
Alex says:
look at this guy?! hes a wild man

The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Owen
Tony's Pick: Will

Line of the Movie:
Al: "you know you can shoot ppl here, don't have to throw a wrench"
Tony: " that's something a wild man would say"

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Alex says:
TRANSFOOOORMA!!! MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE!
Ivan says:
CH CHU CHUAH CHA CAH
Alex says:
AUTOBAWTS WAGE THEIR BATTLE TO DESTROY THE EVIL FORCES OF.....
Ivan says:
that was me transforming into a crappy movie
Alex says:
DA DECEPTICONS!
tony says:
al shut up!
tony says:
i felt the way i felt when i saw the first transformers... GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK!
Alex says:
I don't care what you haters say
Ivan says:
I don't care what you say either. But please, proceed
Alex says:
Michael Bay made an ART HOUSE FILM! and GIANT ROBOTS is his medium
Alex says:
he painted with Optimus Prime
Alex says:
PAINTED
tony says:
the prime was awesome.. i cant argue that
tony says:
but the only thing good about this film was the prime
Ivan says:
I think Al is confused. What he meant to say was "michal bay made a movie using microsoft paint"
tony says:
ivan u didnt even like the effects?
Ivan says:
the effects were cool
Ivan says:
remember that cool construction robot at the beginning, that rolled over everything?
Alex says:
I don't know who or what that was, but it was cool and Prime shot his face in
Alex says:
done
Ivan says:
i thought it would play some huge role in the movie (based on the previews). i was expecting it would roll halfway around the world before they stopped it, but it made if halfway down the block and that was that.. OMG it is the RISE OF THE CONSTRUCTOCONS!!! uhhh no it wasnt.. it wasnt..
Alex says:
uh, cuz he met the leader of the AUTOBAWTS!
Ivan says:
THEY TRICKED US WITH THE PREVIEW..
tony says:
but those scenes WERE cool though.. if you guys would allow me a few seconds to rant i think i can sum up this movie and why it sucks monkey turd.
Ivan says:
could i say a few things?
tony says:
please proceed
Alex says:
umm only in cybertronian please
Alex says:
ROBAWTS IN DISGUISE!
Alex says:
you're hearing that in my rooooobaaawt voice
Alex says:
in your head...
Alex says:
right now
Ivan says:
this is why i thought the movie was unsatisfactory:
1)too many resurrections. 1 battle res per movie is the limit
Alex says:
Prime didn't die, took a nap...tis all
Ivan says:
2)too much love. why is there any love/teenage drama occuring in a transformers movie? is this the same show we watched growing up? who gives a crap about shia ladouche moving away and going to college? show us Optimus Prime eating breakfast
Alex says:
those scenes juxtaposed the Robot carnivale, cuz any more, I would have died a syatisfied man, but died none the less.
Ivan says:
did al just say there was a robot carnival?
tony says:
did al just say juxtaposed?
Ivan says:
is it coming to brampton?
Alex says:
an ORGY OF AUTOBOTS VS DECEPTICONS
Ivan says:
i want cotton candy
Alex says:
F-YEAH!
tony says:
optimus was cool.. robots are cool.. humans in robot films are not.. MEAGAN FOX IN ANY MOVIE IS NOT COOL!!!! IT IS NOT COOL!!!!! Transformers was a like a graph of the sine curve.. it almost became cool and then went back to absolute garbage.. over and over again.. if u'll allow me to give u examples...
tony says:
here is what i felt throughout the film
tony says:
wow! optimus kicked ass there! holy crap! he ripped that guys head off.. OH WTF? meagan fox?!?!
tony says:
oh man optimus became a plane! hes rocking the crap out of megatron! WOW THIS IS EXTREME
tony says:
OH WTF MEAGAN FOX???!!
tony says:
OH YES!! AUTOBOTS WIN THIS IS GETTING INTENSE!! OH WTF MEAGAN FOX IN CREDITS????!!
Ivan says:
can i help? omg, that is the coolest robot dog ever! look at it kick ass! WTF are we watching meagan fox paint a motorcycle??? wtf is this an 80's whitesnake video? f you assholes!
tony says:
HAHAHAHAHAHHAA
Alex says:
I don't remember those scenes,
tony says:
meagan fox is the Yoko ono of good movies
tony says:
meaning she ruins them!
Ivan says:
she is the kirsten kreuk of summer 09
Alex says:
I only remember Prime, DUAL FUCKING WEILDING ENERGON BLADES AND RIPPING BLACKOUT'S FACE OFF!
Alex says:
WOT?! WOT?!
Ivan says:
you are more fortunate than we are al
tony says:
she makes kristen kreuk look like sarah polley.. and u wont ever see me write those two names together unless im saying "oh man i had a dream that sarah polley beat the crap out of kristen kreuk and killed her!"
Alex says:
you know what?! I ENJOYED MEAGAN FOX's POUTY FACE!
Alex says:
I SAID IT!
Alex says:
SCREW YOU!
tony says:
this review is over
Ivan says:
omg
Ivan says:
i wish i could convey my emotions better via msn
Alex says:
there was a MATRIX OF fn LEADERSHIP!
Ivan says:
my words don't do justice to the look i had on my face when al said that
Alex says:
JET OPTIMUS!
tony says:
did u look like clint eastwood in gran torino?
Ivan says:
yeah! but angrier
Ivan says:
and more old looking
tony says:
oh man!
Alex says:
GgggYYYYEEEETTTT OOOOPTTTIIIMUUUS!
tony says:
ok al gets once again a 1/10 from me... movie gets a 3/10.. it's effects were good.. but at a whopping 2 hr and 30 mins... its just too much meagan fox to take.. she is an absolute horror of an actress.
Alex says:
screw you fools,
Alex says:
Michael Bay's got the touch
Alex says:
After all is said and done,
He never walked, he never run
He's a Winner
Ivan says:
don't even bring "the touch" into this revieW!
Ivan says:
dont you dare!
Ivan says:
tony, edit that part out
Alex says:
DON"T YOU FN DARE!
Ivan says:
he's using the epic song from the real and only transormers movie from 1984
Alex says:
MATRIX OF LEADERSHIP!
Alex says:
DEVESTATOR TEABAG!
Ivan says:
ok al gets a 1/10 movie gets a 4/10 (+1 cuz i just saw bruno)
Alex says:
wait I get a rating? wtf
tony says:
not enough bumblebee too
Alex says:
I wanted
BUMBLE-MUS Prime
tony says:
now THAT would be cool
Alex says:
cuz he got the touch too
Ivan says:
omg
Ivan says:
i forgot
Ivan says:
about that fn paris hilton dog thing
Ivan says:
i want to vomit
Ivan says:
change my rating to a 2/10
Alex says:
leave mojo alone
Ivan says:
her "pet robot"
tony says:
i must have missed this
Ivan says:
the one she enslaves and puts in the box
Alex says:
Wheelie?
Ivan says:
yeah
tony says:
thats a dog?
Alex says:
but hes an autobot
Ivan says:
not a real dog
Ivan says:
but it's like a tribute to paris hilton
Alex says:
decepticons need love too
tony says:
ok stop stop... 2/10 .. thanks for the info
Ivan says:
how she has her gay dog and shit. well fox has that stupid robot thta falls in love with her
Alex says:
9/10!
Alex says:
WOT?! THATS MAH RATING?! TAKE YOU ALL ON!
tony says:
al u are not more than meets the eye.. u are a moron.
Ivan says:
ch chu chu che cha cha that was me tranforming my fist into an empty can of sprite
Ivan says:
careful al..


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Optimus Prime
Tony's Pick: Prime
Ivan: OP

Line of the Movie:
Al: "I"LL TAKE YOU ALL ON"
Tony: " one man, alone, abandoned by the country he loves!"
Ivan: " one man, alone, abandoned by the country he loves!"

Ivan says:
my 2nd heart is turturro... he was epic
tony says:
turturro can play any race!

The Hangover

tony says:
all i can say is.. how did the chicken get there?
Alex says:
it was birdknapped
Ivan says:
they never told us
Ivan says:
frankly, i don't give a crap anymore
tony says:
i want to know!
Ivan says:
i did want to know
Ivan says:
i passed the point of wanting to know
Alex says:
the chicken was Soundwave's minion
Alex says:
OH SHIT WRONG REVIEW
Ivan says:
Al GTFO
Ivan says:
but if somehow you found out, you'd have to tell me
tony says:
too much transformers!
tony says:
to be fair it has been a while since any of us watched this film
Ivan says:
quite true
tony says:
our long-term memories are ruined by video games
Alex says:
Why do they call it roofies? why not floories?
tony says:
re-tard
Ivan says:
retard?
tony says:
reh-tard
tony says:
would u guys agree tho.. that its nice to have a comedy without seth rogen et. al. in it for a change tony says:
im getting so sick of those guys
tony says:
and i do like the return of heather graham
tony says:
she had heart
Ivan says:
oh yeah! it was refreshing. seth rogen is like the stale bottle of Coke in my fridge. get me something new!
Ivan says:
she was awesome. nothing like a stripper with a heart of gold!
Alex says:
I want me one of those
tony says:
a heather graham?
Ivan says:
stale bottle of coke?
Ivan says:
wtf
Alex says:
stripper with a heart of gold
Ivan says:
Al is so ambiguous
tony says:
he is!
Alex says:
stale bottle of coke sounds good right now
tony says:
oh and the tyson
tony says:
thats all i remember.. reh-tard and the tyson
Ivan says:
mmm, touché
tony says:
but i know i DID laugh.. so i'll give it a 7-8/10
Ivan says:
ROFL Ivan says: that's it?
Ivan says:
hahha
Ivan says:
great review
Ivan says:
but i like it. a review in the style of a movie about not remembering the night before
Ivan says:
WE ARE SO WITTY
tony says:
PROFOUND!
Alex says:
wot about Mr.Lee?
Alex says:
SUCK MY ASIAN NUTS!!?!?!
tony says:
oh yeah!!! that guy!
Ivan says:
ok, so we dont remember the movie. here is what i recall
Ivan says:
tigers, missing tooth, and angry chinese dude
Ivan says:
done
tony says:
reh-tard, heather graham, tyson, and asian guy
tony says:
done
Ivan says:
ooh nice
Ivan says:
top that al!
Alex says:
ASS, TITS, MAN JUNK
Ivan says:
good enough
Ivan says:
i give it a 7.5
Alex says:
ELEVATOR BJ POLOROID FTL
Ivan says:
al gets a 5
Ivan says:
he did good
Alex says:
7.8/10
tony says:
al gets a 6 from me.. then he mentioned BJ and got a 4
Ivan says:
hahaha
Alex says:
BLOW JAY
tony says:
reh-tard
Ivan says:
you're a delta bravo al
Alex says:
OH WOT?! -2?
Alex says:
Do you smell it?
tony says:
smell what?
Alex says:
reeks of douche

The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Beard Guy
Tony's Pick: Heather Graham
Ivan: Heather Graham

Line of the Movie:
Al: "IN DA FACE!"
Tony: "reh-tard"
Ivan: "todalooo muthafucka!"