Dead Snow

tony says:
to quote a lyric from the band the scorpions, "HERE I AM! ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE!!" that's what dead snow did to me
tony says:
i was blown away
Alex says:
dead snow combines the two greatest evils of our time together in one glorifying display of zombies and nazi explotation, ever seen on film
Alex says:
If you think about it, nazis are just zombies in a different era
Alex says:
and they don't really eat brains
tony says:
i agree with everything you just said there.. this was like a dream come true.. it had everything i want in a zombie film
tony says:
what epic kills!
Alex says:
dead snow is like any nazi film + descent + cabin fever + zombies all rolled into one
tony says:
can u even make a bad film if you combine zombies and nazis?
tony says:
is it even possible?
tony says:
when zombies are together with nazis on celluloid.. dont we all win?
Alex says:
well, if they sat around and discussed their feelings maybe...but I think I would still watch it
tony says:
i'd watch them talk about their feelings! that would've been even better!
tony says:
i dont want to spoil all the fun stuff thats in this movie for ppl.. but i want to so bad
Alex says:
its so good its our first spoiler free review?
tony says:
yes its THAT good
tony says:
i wont say anything
tony says:
i think the very mention of zombies and nazis should be enough for ppl to go watch
Alex says:
alright, my only complaints are certain characters were written out too soon
Alex says:
they would've added to hilarity and depth of zombie killing
Alex says:
its wolfenstein with zombie mods
tony says:
they had to off people.. there would've been way too many characters...
Alex says:
it'd be an epic battle tho!
tony says:
it WAS an epic battle!
tony says:
the phillip seymore hoffman clone would've added nothing to the bedlam
Alex says:
he gave gems! and zombie insight!
tony says:
wait wait
tony says:
we are spoiling!
Alex says:
ok, NAZI + ZOMBIES = MUST SEE
Alex says:
enough
tony says:
ok
tony says:
sigh... MOUNTED MACHINE GUN ON A SNOWMOBILE!
tony says:
ok now i'll stop
Alex says:
just one thing, outhouse scene is gross, and I'm turned off on norwegian girls
tony says:
ok done done
tony says:
9.5/10 for me.. i almost spontaneously combusted on several occasions out of awesomeness! i dunno how the heck zombieland will top this
Alex says:
8/10, it was good, but lacked some things for me
tony says:
like what?!
tony says:
this was my dream come true
tony says:
this was a finely woven tapestry of epicness
tony says:
this was a flash of pure inspiration.. and let me tip my hat to the genesis of this film
tony says:
this was a brovado film.. this was an absolute concerto film! this was a benini sculpture of a film!.. i love ray hudson!
Alex says:
it wasn't scary enough, and almost too much of a comedy for me
Alex says:
but I guess you really can't take nazi zombies seriously

The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Vegard for being the most resourceful of the group
Tony's Pick: for the second time in as many reviews: the girl with the dreadlocks

Line of the Movie:
Al: " it appears we're being attacked by...germans from world war 2"
Tony: "oh i think that was too far.. they're pissed!"

Gamer

tony says:
this movie sucked so bad. but we were so limited by what to watch this week. i don't even know where to begin
Alex says:
the back to school special, where all of hollywoods crap comes out during the months of september
tony says:
yep
Alex says:
It wasn't all bad, Gamer: a social commentary on the dystopian future that we're all destined to head for if our current generation are continually raised games such as L4D, Counter Strike, Call of Duty, and lets not forget Second Life. I FUCKING LOVE THOSE GAMES
Alex says:
cept second life, cuz that really is what Society is like, furries, fat doods and online cross dressers
tony says:
you and your social commentaries
tony says:
the only social commentary here.. is how the general public will watch any movie that studios put out
tony says:
i've seen this movie... it was called death race... and i'll probably see this movie again.. when its called surrogates
Alex says:
surrogates looks creepy, with their taunt and shiny faces
Alex says:
I'd play society tho! I thought Dexter did a good job being a douche
tony says:
but the thing is.. if u want to make a movie based on an idea from a movie before, you really should try to improve on it or at least make it the same.. they devolved so far from death race, FROM DEATH RACE, it was like The dark Knight to batman forever
dexter did do a good job i agree.. and so did LUDA
Alex says:
LUDA is like the poor man's andre 3000
tony says:
yeah but he was good in this film
Alex says:
oh, but Blanka! now he needs more roles
tony says:
once again agreed. he should be in every film, just to make the film have an asian! the action sequences.. what did u think?
Alex says:
too jittery with the camera, too many cuts, they could've exploited the first person cam instead
tony says:
i felt like i was watching a video game where the disc was scratched and could freeze at any minute.. maybe that was what they were going for.. but i've played video games that had this effect and it made me want to headbutt my tv.. first person cam is a definite no no! you remember doom?!
Alex says:
DOOM was awesome
Alex says:
and pissing into a car's fuel tank to run it on alcohol? c'omon? comon...
tony says:
i want to see that on mythbusters!
Alex says:
I don't think mythbusters would do this one, its beneath them
tony says:
i think we have to explain what he did more so our readers can see the full stupidity of the concept.. what this moron did was he drank at least 750 ml of vodka.. got to a car while ppl and helicopters were shooting at him.. vomitted in this cars fuel tank.. pissed in it.. and it started said vehicle. thats all u really need to know about the whole film really
Alex says:
I did not know cars run on vodka
Alex says:
I would've made my own batch of fuel/alcohol with potatoes in my own backyard and never have to pay for gas/liquor again
tony says:
well said!
tony says:
2.5 out of ten for me.. i cant freakin wait for zombieland! i cant take this much longer
Alex says:
I'd give it a 4.5/10, it did try to take on the whole gaming in the future thing, and it would've gone somewhere if it wasn't just retarded. Oh, lets not forget the teabagging move in the beginning.
tony says:
that part was golden.. ok i change it to 3/10

The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: I'd guess it'll go to Kable for surviving that long and still keep his sanity
Tony's Pick: the girl with the dreadlocks

Line of the Movie:
Al: "look at this knife, and think about it going through your chest"
Tony: " he teabagged him!"