Legion

tony says:
i thought Eli was stupid, but man Legion takes the cake in giving it's viewers retard damage
Alex says:
I felt like it was a rpg or something, they had armour and shit, epic mace stuns [brah] and wings
tony says:
HAHAHHAHA true! and for once al.. there is no supremely hawt girl to save this film for you
Alex says:
but it had Eli (I play foozball for the New York FoozBall Giants) look-a-like in it to save it for me
tony says:
true but basically the legion of heavens angels couldnt stop a diner full of average malcontents, which included an avril lavigne-esque teenager, a one handed chef, and a pregnant woman
Alex says:
they had guns man! lots of guns
tony says:
you cant even bother to explain that! the only person that can stand up to the legion of angels is mike ditka! according to snl anyway
Alex says:
and taye diggs, man knows his way around a 9mm
Alex says:
I wanted to see more epic angel battles
tony says:
that would've made it a hell of a lot better. this movie insults everyones intelligence. it can act as a good way to screen out retards, thats all its good for. if you liked it and found it profound, you're a retard. thats it. done! 3/10 wait al i agree with you about the eli manning look-a-like that guy had a heart of gold
Alex says:
you know, I think the film industry is losing its faith in you for rating legion so low
tony says:
i don't have faith in the film industry either! NICE SETUP AL! I see what you did there
Alex says:
I enjoy the string of apocalyptic films that are coming out of Hwood recently, its like they're trying to tell us something
tony says:
2012! its all over
Alex says:
but I'm going to live by 2012 until the day comes, and work on some cardio, cuz you know, the Cusack can run and jump and swim like no one's bizness
tony says:
just got to get tight with the cusack.. and we';ll all survive
Alex says:
oh, I enjoyed the boomer scene in Legion, and to make this film an even bigger cliche than it already is, the 2 black guys died first
tony says:
hahaha yes the boomer scene!! still cant save the film from the 3/10 rating however
Alex says:
4/10 for me, epic angel battle sequence was legendary, who'd thought feathery wings of flight were bullet proof?
tony says:
would you rather be mace spec'd or sword spec'd?
Alex says:
sword spec'd, but that mace was like a james bond mace? it can spin, turn into a spear and extend its blades!
tony says:
i want that mace!
Alex says:
I think the gnomergans made that mace, not god


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick:Vigoo Archangel Michael
Tony's Pick: eli manning

Line of the Movie:
Al: "I gave Him what he needed, you gave Him what he wanted"
Tony: "well he doesnt have faith in you either"

Book of Eli

Alex says:
So, how 'bout that book of eli movie? would you say you bELIeve?
tony says:
it was just like a western movie really... and no i dont believe
Alex says:
did the movie dELIver?
tony says:
no it didnt dELIver
Alex says:
see wut the ads did thurr? the only thing I believed in was Mila Kunis
tony says:
for the most part it was ok.. but the dumb twist at the end ruined the whole film.. it was one of those twists where you think, "oh hey maybe i can rewatch the film knowing this now." but a second later u remember a scene from it and instead think, "wait! what? that cant work! retarded twist"
Alex says:
Mila's gonna whalk the earth, for a while
tony says:
how can she look so good and clean in a world like that? thats stupid
Alex says:
cuz she hawt
tony says:
she'd be so dead
Alex says:
you don't carry the fire
tony says:
gary oldman was good though! and dont even compare the road to this. this was more entertaining though
Alex says:
please, blind Tina was the movie, upstaged oldman
tony says:
yes that is true.. i love blind tina
Alex says:
would the movie work if Eli was carrying the koran?
tony says:
no. it doesnt work as is. it wont work any other way
Alex says:
so religion started the apocalypse, don't you think because of the book that Eli caused a whole lot of shit to go down because of the voice of god?
tony says:
but he is the voice of god! devastating logic!
Alex says:
he racked up a double digit kill count and caused a city to descend into anarchy, all for what?
tony says:
see and thats why the film is dumb. style wise how did you like it?
Alex says:
this film is re-tard, and he caused Mila to follow in his path...so if the book of Eli was the koran, wouldn't this film be banned
tony says:
i don't follow your moron logic. there is that funny scene where they end up at that old couples house and they were armed more heavily than a game of grand theft auto with weapon cheats on
Alex says:
I keep hearing that eering music, style wise it woulda been cool if the movie wasn't re-tarded
tony says:
his machete was cool though
Alex says:
save up them KFC wetnaps
tony says:
tom effin waits baby
Alex says:
and chapstick, shit is gold in the future
tony says:
ok 6.5/10 entertaining but stupid
Alex says:
5.5/10 for blindness
tony says:
chapstick was gold!


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Mila, cuz she believes
Tony's Pick: eli

Line of the Movie:
Al: "Hey!? What??? Fuck you!!!"
Tony: even though it wasnt an actual line in the movie, in honour of jennifer beals, "MONSTER!"

Daybreakers

tony says:
finally a movie with vampires that shows their badassness again! so badass in inspired conflict with the audience! explain al!
Alex says:
and no pale glittering vampires! ok so sum biatch was all like throwing popcorn at the peeps infront of her and they were all like...you can't be disrespecting me, and the other girl was all yeah but, no but, yeah but *shove*
tony says:
well said al, well said
Alex says:
so she was like, omg,...you can't go around assualting ppl, Imma call the bobbys on you yeah, like
tony says:
the theatre had all the lights on at the beginning as well, do you think it was a way to show the "day break" effect? or a way to stream out real vampires?
Alex says:
indeed, it was a well done theatrical trickery. they were UV lights and then the film started and the lights went out, total darkness, mind blow
tony says:
movie's concept was all around pretty clever. i had a few complaints though but none of my complaints involve the badass that is WILLEM DEFOE
Alex says:
it was well thoughtout, with the tunnels and the cars,
tony says:
tru. but that annoying bat that comes out of no where all the time with a super sonic high pitched-bush-league-what-the-hell-was-that way of scaring the audience was vexing! three times it came out! three!
Alex says:
the sonic scream got you?
tony says:
it was so loud and dumb. i really did enjoy seeing what it would be like if the world was only populated with vampires though
Alex says:
the film wasn't without flaws, but its been so long since a decent vampire film was out
tony says:
coffee shops that allow u to pick what type of blood to put in coffees, parking signs saying school parking zones no parking at 2-3 AM, etc.. really clever
Alex says:
well according to you, no one will work for anything anymore, since the only commodity is blood and at the same time its the food substance also
tony says:
and they cant die!
Alex says:
join the vampire army
tony says:
my major complain aside from the bat was the confusion of what is what. for example: if a converted vampire did this to a human who did this to a changed converted vampire who saw sunlight and bit a converted vampire what would happen?
Alex says:
yes you did seem confused, those questions were not suitable even from a re-tard
tony says:
no the concept was retarded to me
Alex says:
its a reverse defib, shocks the heart and starts beating
tony says:
dont blame me.. movie copped out with explanations and you know it and the ending sucks
and you know that too
Alex says:
ending did suck,
tony says:
but i agree with u... vampire movie that dont involve douchebag teens is a plus in my book
Alex says:
but they have the cure, the cure for world hungry and greed
tony says:
is this the rise of ethan hawke?
Alex says:
no, hes not going places
tony says:
i suppose you're right
Alex says:
social commentary from the film? Blood = Oil, hence there will be blood. BLOWN
Alex says:
MIND
tony says:
OH SHUT UP! al you're a subsider!
tony says:
7/10 for me.. decent film.. but prolly benefitted from the crappiness of recent vampire films
Alex says:
7/10 also, the gore was a little too much, trying to do the 30 days of night thing all over again. I got wings!
tony says:
gore was too explody


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Ethan's character I guess...since he went back on being a vamp.
Tony's Pick: audrey

Line of the Movie:
Al: "You're about as safe as going bareback on a $5 whore"
Tony: "you can't assault someone, im calling the cops on you!" - from a mad girl in attendance

Sherlock Holmes

tony says:
robert downey jr. can play anyone.. there i said it
Alex says:
it went from the Summer of RDJ to the decade of RDJ
tony says:
agreed, and it was a good movie.. i enjoyed it a lot.. and i was never a fan of sherlock homes or jude law or rachel mcadams
Alex says:
I didn't even notice it was jude law. cuz hes a d bag, now McAdams...hawt
tony says:
she was pretty good i guess, they all were
Alex says:
I think the theatrical version cut some stuff I saw from the trailer
tony says:
krista the hardcore sherlock holmes fan says that usually watson is played like hes a retard, so she was really pleased that this watson was not like that
Alex says:
Movie was awesome, it tied me over from the House hiatus during the holidays, Jude Law is still a re-tard!
tony says:
do you think that sherlock holmes was played just like tony stark though? it's the same character
Alex says:
thats fine, thats why its RDJ playing
tony says:
who's hotter right now RDJ or sam worthington?
Alex says:
still RDJ
tony says:
it's close though
Alex says:
yeah Sam might take over once Clash comes out
tony says:
avatar is killing sherlock in sales
Alex says:
cuz thats just fn epic! sales, blah, Sherlock was more enjoyable and had better rewatch value
tony says:
i agree there too and mark strong is the best villainous character in the world. he's also a don draper clone
Alex says:
don't compare Don Draper to Mark Strong! Draper is the man
tony says:
do you want don draper skills or sherlock skills?
Alex says:
Sherlock Skills
tony says:
i like how we are not even reviewing this movie. i think it was just a good solid film. boxing scenes reminded me of snatch
Alex says:
1. RDJ is awesome...
2. Guy Ritchie is back, though not his script
3. Sherlock and Watson played off each other well
4. Chance of Sequel
Conclusion, Decade of RDJ
tony says:
5. AGREED WITH YOU FOR A CHANGE! 7.5/10 for me.. cant wait for sequel and more RDJ
Alex says:
8/10! yeah I said it
tony says:
that's just .5 difference u numbskull!

The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Watson's Fiance
Tony's Pick: watson

Line of the Movie:
Al: "You wear a jacket"
Tony: "no woman wants to marry a doctor who can't tell if someone is dead or not"