Kick-Ass

tony says:
Dear Makers of Kick-Ass,
Thank you! I love you! i've been waiting for a movie like this for a long time. Thank you for including Nicholas Cage.
Yours in love and affection,
Tony
Dear People who determine which Movie trailers are shown,
Thank you! I love you! i've been waiting to see the preview for The Expendables for a long time! Thank you for including the AHnold scene!
Yours in love and affection,
Tony
Alex says:
would you say, it kicked your ass?
tony says:
it kicked my ass so hard al.. so hard
tony says:
it was sooo good
Alex says:
I dunno about that,
Alex says:
its great, recommendable, but I didn't think it was amazing
Alex says:
maybe I didn't 'get it'
tony says:
ok hang on
tony says:
if you toss out all the teenage parts
tony says:
and just focused on the lets-go-kill-mark-strong parts
tony says:
then would you say it was epic?
Alex says:
I didn't mind those teenage parts
Alex says:
talking about the film as a whole
tony says:
me too.. i'm saying the vengeance parts were sooo good i can look past the teenage/romance parts
Alex says:
but Mark Strong is the usual badassery, maybe a lil comical too in this one, so no complaints there
tony says:
how could you not like this film as much as me?
Alex says:
didn't do it, seemed like it was trying but didn't try hard enough
tony says:
what was missing for you?
Alex says:
it was like a mix of superbad and kill bill and batman...but not as great as all those films individually
tony says:
that's interesting, because i was just gonna say how much this film reminded me of kill bill
tony says:
i can see your point there
Alex says:
I have no idea, but it didn't seem to take the serious parts well enough and just lacked something, all the while there was this satirical outlook for the whole comic industry (which I think it was suppose to have, but kinda killed it for me)
tony says:
you're looking too much into it
tony says:
it's a film called kick-ass.. just let it destroy your face!
Alex says:
You knew Redmist was gonna sell them out, so I was just waiting for the end, or maybe a redemption for Redmist, cuz McLovin is the man
tony says:
that's another thing
tony says:
mclovin was tolerable in this film
tony says:
that takes skill to make him like that
Alex says:
you wanted Michael Cera as Kick Ass
tony says:
i'd like to kick his ass
tony says:
in the face
tony says:
but al. the music tho! oh man.. using the for a few dollars more theme? how effin epic is that? and bad reputation by joan jett?
tony says:
HIT GIRL'S got the baddest themes
Alex says:
that was cool
Alex says:
maybe just the ending was good enough to watch (re-watch) the film
tony says:
yes! i agree
tony says:
i mean if i was rewatching the film.. on a dvd... there were definitely parts i'd fast forward
tony says:
since we both brought the kill bill comparison.. i wanted to ask you
tony says:
no guns allowed... hit girl vs gogo yubari
tony says:
dual butterfly knives vs spike ball
Alex says:
gogo
tony says:
you sure?
Alex says:
hit girl needs some growing to do
Alex says:
then maybe hit girl
tony says:
i agree with you... gogo almost took out uma..
tony says:
let me ask you this then
tony says:
how effin awesome is nic cage? i think it's about time ppl stopped hating on this guy.. yes hes a smug bastard in real life.. yes he's slightly to severely retarded.. but the man makes great films
Alex says:
needed more cage for sure
Alex says:
and coif
tony says:
batman vs cage?
Alex says:
fukkin Cage
tony says:
im not gonna answer this one
tony says:
it pains me either way
tony says:
i love hit girl tho.. even in 500 days of summer i felt like she was a badass that can kick your ass
tony says:
she's gonna be the next big thing
Alex says:
you cant see it, but I'm hitting a red button right now, its located under my desk
tony says:
oh shut up!
Alex says:
ah, hello oct?
tony says:
hahaha
tony says:
anyway 9/10 for me
tony says:
close to a perfect score
tony says:
if not for the teenage drama and love
tony says:
eff those things
Alex says:
7.5/10
tony says:
that's just wrong
Alex says:
its great, but lacking
tony says:
you felt this was just as good as green zone you're saying
Alex says:
yes
Alex says:
I enjoyed green zone more actually
tony says:
i hope kick-ass kills you



The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Big Daddy
Tony's Pick: kick-ass

Line of the Movie:
Al: "Who da fuck orders a kick-ass party?!"
Tony: "he should be... called.... ass-kick... heh"

tony says:
HAHAHAHHA good line!

Green Zone

Alex says:
maaahh
Alex says:
maaaah
Alex says:
mah?!
Alex says:
maat daaaamon
tony says:
MAAAAAAATT DAMMMMMMMMON!
tony says:
what did you think of the him in greenzone?
Alex says:
I think he played the role before
Alex says:
ja...jaaaaay...b..booouuurrrnn
tony says:
i mean that's what i thought from seeing the trailers.. but it wasnt that much the same
tony says:
he couldnt fight at all in this movie for one thing
Alex says:
I didn't believe him as a chief of his squad
Alex says:
standard military affair
tony says:
yeah this was a really typical war film
Alex says:
it was good though, accurate, like the Kingdom
Alex says:
it only made me want to play Battlefield
tony says:
i dunno.. seemed kinda stupid. i don't even remember the kingdom.. did we see that?
tony says:
this film went in circles
tony says:
it did feature GREG KINNEAR tho
Alex says:
I don't think you 'got it'
tony says:
wait that's what i mean though
tony says:
usually i wouldnt 'get it' but this time i think i understood everything
tony says:
that's a fail for a film like this
Alex says:
Kinnear was a douche in this film
tony says:
kinnear is ALWAYS a douche
tony says:
al if you were on the american forces most wanted list deck of playing cards.. would you rather be the queen of hearts.. or the 2 of clubs?
Alex says:
2
Alex says:
ducks
Alex says:
I wonder if that deck is on ebay
Alex says:
You wanted a guest appearance by Uda
tony says:
i wanted a guest appearance by the guy from the hurt locker!
tony says:
that guy woulda found WMD's even if there weren't any
Alex says:
he woulda deffused them
Alex says:
cuz hes a wild man
tony says:
he's difinitely that
tony says:
im gonna give 6.5/10.. entertaining, but nothing special.
Alex says:
7.5/10, cuz of mattttt daaaamoon, and had good action
Alex says:
I buy into the whole american propaganda
tony says:
ok say it with me one more time my friend
tony says:
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMON!
Alex says:
daaaaaaamoon!
Alex says:
/shakehead
Alex says:
daaaamoooonnn
tony says:
hahahaahaha


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: freddy for running a marathon with 1 leg and still catching up to ppl with 2
Tony's Pick: freddy the one legged civie

Line of the Movie:
Al: "get your fucking game face on!"
Tony: "People see you dig holes! why you dig holes?"

tony says:
freddy can easily be a heart of the year candidate

New Moon

tony says:
before we start i just want all the readers to know.. that i decided to watch this movie for the greater good... for the website.. and for that i should be classified a sort of modern day hero
tony says:
i would also like to point out that shellie watched this twice.. so she could refresh her memory and contribute to the review.
Shellie says:
Ummm not really. I made you watch it. That kind of makes you a pushover.
tony says:
and she just made fun of me. so im taking that credit back
Shellie says:
!!!! That is just low!
tony says:
i was giving you props!
Shellie says:
I take my comment back too...we did it for the greater good. QED.
tony says:
well played
tony says:
well played
Shellie says:
Okay Tony Two Times....what did you think?
tony says:
i don't at all know where to begin
Shellie says:
Because that's how boring this piece of crap was?
tony says:
i think that this was one of the few times where having live studio audience noises would have helped this film... like it helped full house
Shellie says:
That wouldnt have even helped it.
Shellie says:
I'm sitting here trying to think of something significant to chat about, and the only thing that comes to mind is when Bella flew off the motorcycle and hit her head.
tony says:
i don't even remember that part
Shellie says:
HAHHAHA
tony says:
and i'll agree with you
tony says:
i just think that if there were those OOOOOOH and AAAAAAAAH sounds the audience would make would have at least made this film funny
Shellie says:
*Bella flies off the motorcycle into a rock.* OHHHHHH! *Its okay folks, Bella is only minorly injured.* BOOOOOO!
tony says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA that's the idea!
tony says:
you've read the books... how does this compare?
Shellie says:
Well the books were pretty good. I really did enjoy reading them. But the movies made me hate the books. Honestly, what is the worst part about the movies? The boring bland actors that make me want to punch myself. Those douchebags arent in the books.
tony says:
i guess it's easier to read the books 'cause you can imagine yourself what bella and dumbass look like
tony says:
but they have this struggling face all the time.. it's like their inspiration for their roles were people suffering from constipation
Shellie says:
HAHAHAHHAHA
Shellie says:
Hey Tony...remember when I was rewatching the movie and you defended Edwards body?
tony says:
shellie we promised never to talk about that again
Shellie says:
I think Bella is suffering from a stick up her butt.
Shellie says:
OH!
Shellie says:
We did promise, but it was too epic to not repeat.
tony says:
promise breaker! now i'm going to pout and sit in my room looking out the window for months watching the seasons turn!
Shellie says:
October...November....(Bella please shower)....December....
tony says:
HAHAHA!!! but seriously.. i felt that this movie had no plot.. had nothing really... it made twilight looked good.. ( i vomitted a little there)... and it could've easily been condensed to a 20 min superstation show that aired before dawson's creek
tony says:
somethings i'll just never understand..
tony says:
how this series is so popular is one of them
Shellie says:
No it really did make Twilight look good! The plot was...if your boyfriend dumps you, do crazy irrational things so you can hear voices in your head. And for the record, I never watched Dawson's creek.
Shellie says:
But here's the big topic:
Shellie says:
How much did you love Jacob's abs?!?!?! *SWOON*!
tony says:
did you just swoon?
tony says:
you're part of the problem! not the solution!
Shellie says:
Hey! I am not typically one to get swoon-ish over abs, but even you have to admit that was the only silver lining in this movie!
Shellie says:
At least I'm defending Jacob and not Edward!
tony says:
ok i mean i can understand why girls would go ga ga over Jacob's abs... but there has to be something more than that!
Shellie says:
Something more? Than abs? I don't comprehend this.
tony says:
again.. part of the problem, not the solution! haha
Shellie says:
Haha...no I'm mostly mocking!
tony says:
what did you think of the ending? was it what happened in the book?
Shellie says:
Yes it's exactly what happened in the book. Sheer stupidity. And the part where they led children and the elderly in so the volturi could eat them? Hardly appropriate for young eyes!
tony says:
that part contributed nothing at all to the plot (which already was moronic).. all it did was show that vampires kill people
tony says:
no effing crap
Shellie says:
It also showed that the Volturi looked like a bunch of creepy homeless people that wear makeup.
tony says:
yes! what's up with that?
Shellie says:
But yes. Stupid ending to an even stupider movie.
tony says:
ok look readers.. very simple.. edward asks bella to marry him at the end of the movie.. dont waste your time or money for an almost 2 hr proposal
Shellie says:
DID YOU JUST SPOIL THE PROPOSAL?!
tony says:
i'm against spoiling endings.. and i never want to do it.. so its kinda a first
tony says:
and i;m gonna do another first
tony says:
i'm not going to give this movie a rating out of 10... because if i do.. i'm acknowledging that i recognize it as a movie.. which i don't..
Shellie says:
HAHAHA. So what are you going to do then?
tony says:
beg people to let the fact that i watched this movie not be in vain.. learn from this.. and cease watching this series
tony says:
will you rate this film?
Shellie says:
But that's not going to happen! Because I'm going to make you watch Eclipse with me too!
Shellie says:
Yes. I will rate it.
tony says:
oh i know! and i will ultimately buckle.. and watch.. woe is me
Shellie says:
And you say I'm part of the problem.
tony says:
sigh.. rate this already and lets never speak of new moon again
Shellie says:
Fine. -10 bajillion/10
tony says:
i think i hate you
Shellie says:
But it's a minus sign!
tony says:
OH
Shellie says:
I thought you were a math whiz!
tony says:
my apologies!
Shellie says:
I am shaking my head at you
tony says:
and i'm groveling for your forgiveness
tony says:
one more thing! did you notice how bella talks like this in the movie:
tony says:
edward i........ think........... that.......... i have............ to............ go to............. school............ today
Shellie says:
YES!
tony says:
SO annoying
Shellie says:
edward....its...my...........birthday.
tony says:
shellie i .......... hate ......... this.............. mo..........vie...............................................................so.......................m..............uch
Shellie says:
ouch..........i..........cut........myself............NOOOOO.....jasper!


The Chelios Heart Award
Shellie's Pick: Bella's dad for putting up with a nutty daughter.
Tony's Pick: shellie for watching this twice

Line of the Movie:
Shellie: "Pain"
Tony: "please just kill me" - tony