Buried

tony says:
in terms of movies that only take place in a coffin.. this one was by far the best
Alex says:
but I saw it before, when Tarantino did it in Kill Bill and perfected in CSI:Vegas
Alex says:
those two had more tension and intensity than the entire Buried film
tony says:
true
tony says:
but the concept was still intriguing
tony says:
and i always like ryan reynolds
tony says:
that being said it still didnt work for me
Alex says:
Reynolds is the man, no doubt, but this shouldn't have been a film...its like some student project or an acting show case...its not a movie!
tony says:
gonna do a spoiler alert here so dont read on if you're interested in this film
tony says:
but it was like the road
tony says:
you see the character have struggles after struggles
tony says:
only to die at the end
tony says:
i know it's cliched to have a happy ending
tony says:
but sometimes it does work.. and it's needed or the audience just feels they've invested an hour and a half for nothing
Alex says:
they're charging regular admission to watch some guy in a box for an hour...I can see that and more when I go see David Blaine hang upside down and levitate
tony says:
no kidding..
tony says:
i mean whats the difference between the start of the movie and the end of the movie?
tony says:
nothing
tony says:
he was in trouble.. and then he is in trouble.. and then he died
Alex says:
not buying it, I want at least more location shoots and more actors on screen if I'm paying, I felt like I got cheated
tony says:
im ok with that
tony says:
i just think it wasnt very good
tony says:
i can watch one guy on screen thats fine tho
tony says:
like i said the concept WAS intriguing
tony says:
but they couldnt make it work
Alex says:
plus technically he woulda died long ago...plus no cell phone reception, pressure, air, yadda yadda
tony says:
yeah thats true
tony says:
lets bury this review then
Alex says:
aha...no
tony says:
im gonna give it a 7/10 for concept and attempt
tony says:
plus ryan reynolds is a badass
Alex says:
5/10 it could've been Liam in the box and it still wouldn't have saved the film


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: the snake for not biting Reynolds...I guess...to make it different
Tony's Pick: ryan reynolds

Line of the Movie:
Al: " you make video! make video!"
Tony: "EFF YOU!"

Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D

Alex says:
Milla is BACK!
tony says:
millas ARE back!
tony says:
but this franchise needs to be abolished
Alex says:
no way, now they got the redfields and that brack guy!
Alex says:
more 3D
tony says:
there isnt more in the story... i mean i can say that the video game stories are now more intriguing than the film stories, without a doubt
Alex says:
its gonna be like Saw!
tony says:
no more Saw
tony says:
no more resident
tony says:
we are part of the problem not the solution
Alex says:
our readers demand it!
Alex says:
Paul W.S Anderson owns my soul
tony says:
no one cares about these cretinous movies!
tony says:
come on man
tony says:
the piloting of that airplane in this movie had 4 year olds saying, "wait planes cant effing do that!"
tony says:
it was john cusack 2012-esque
Alex says:
so yeah....plot, character development, and story aside...that 3D is pretty awesome
tony says:
the 3D WAS good i do agree with that
tony says:
i guess we dont have to beat a dead horse
tony says:
its a resident evil film
tony says:
thats all it was
tony says:
didnt try to be anything else
tony says:
its satisfied just to be crap
Alex says:
would it be a kindness if they stopped making resident films
Alex says:
cwudididthurr?
tony says:
hahah RESIDENT KINDNESS
tony says:
4/10 for me all 4 rating was earned throught the actual COOl 3D
Alex says:
3D/10 ahahaha


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Claire Redfield!!!
Tony's Pick: milla

Line of the Movie:
Al: N/A can't remember that they actually spoke any lines.
Tony: "lets play a game" oh wait is that saw?

Alex says:
cuz you know...shower scene...wet clothes...hulking zombie with a hammer/axe

The Last Exorcism

Alex says:
was there even an exorcism during the whole film?
tony says:
there was an attempt i think.. i dunno
tony says:
i'm really sick of these documentary style horror films
Alex says:
but you were scurred! I saw your hat tipped too low for viewing!
tony says:
i mean everytime there is a posession it is somewhat scary
tony says:
and i admit i did think i was gonna be scared of the film as a whole
tony says:
all that got thrown out the window though because of the monumentous retardation of an ending
Alex says:
it started out like a really different type of horror or a smarted type of film...but then it just fell apart at the end...I call it blair witch syndrome!
Alex says:
yeah I just made that up
Alex says:
or, its a really smart ending that gets you thinking....
Alex says:
nah who am I kidding, the film was r-tarded
tony says:
i swear this actress must have been a gymnast as well.. there were no speical effects.. just sound effects and her bending
Alex says:
she was scary, scary looking too!
Alex says:
and why did they have to kill the cat?
tony says:
cause they couldnt make her really kill anything else.... she's not evil right? shes brainwashed?
tony says:
i dunno
tony says:
this movie was sucky
tony says:
you have the exorcist already.. unless you're gonna make a film better than that.. dont bother to try
tony says:
thats what it really boils down to
Alex says:
I think they were cashing in on the exorcism name, it really didn't have much to do with it
tony says:
thats even more infuriating
tony says:
the "sexual" side plot in it was annoying too.. it was like watching law and order SVU
Alex says:
dun duuuun!
tony says:
and the brother was a ginger
tony says:
nuff said
Alex says:
stupid film, plus the trailers were all misleading
Alex says:
its a disturbing trend
tony says:
4.5/10 for me
tony says:
nice try.. stupid ending
Alex says:
6/10, the majority of the film was decent up to the last 5 min


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: I guess...the preist/pastor? cuz...he believed!
Tony's Pick: the minister

Line of the Movie:
Al: "wtf is a blowing job?"
Tony: " i can add a recipe for banana bread in the sermon, and no one would know!"

Takers

tony says:
we're takers thats what we do
tony says:
we take
Alex says:
stuff!
Alex says:
all kinds of stuff!
Alex says:
stealing is a bad word...
Alex says:
or maybe a word they haven't learned
tony says:
all this movie "took" was time i'll never get back
Alex says:
icwudyoudidthurrr
tony says:
and all it gave us.. was a fine fine performance by TI
Alex says:
T.I is the man....or an insanely retarded one...maybe he's like the african american equilvalent of jersey shore
tony says:
you may have a point.. but he stole every scene.. including the heist scene where he provided both colour and play by play commentary of what was happening. let that sink in for a sec
Alex says:
you know one thing that I know about T.I and the cast of this movie besides being real life felons?
tony says:
what?
Alex says:
dey fancy huh?
Alex says:
dey fancy huh?
tony says:
hair done nails done everything did
Alex says:
suits dun, hurrr dun
Alex says:
cars dun errrting did!
tony says:
hahahaha
tony says:
but seriously this movie was terrible
tony says:
chris brown was superhuman in this movie
tony says:
not since john cena in the marine has there been a more invincible human being
Alex says:
no he was frogger!
Alex says:
I saw this film before, when the heist actually worked, it was called Italian Job
tony says:
the stupidest thing about this movie was they tried to make you feel sympathy for the scumbags performing the heist
tony says:
a goal SO failed that you actually feel bad for matt effin dhillon the cop, one of the most douchebag actors in modern day history
Alex says:
I think his face is in the dictionary next to scumbag and douche
tony says:
i mean after seeing the town.. i dont even want to think about this film anymore
Alex says:
I dunno what I watched, I was expecting a heist film, but everything went wrong, not because they were foiled by cops or some clever execution or thinking of your feet, it was just a stupid heist that just didn't work
Alex says:
followed by Chris "shoulda finished the job" brown jumping around like a frog
tony says:
did you enjoy hayden christenson and/or paul walker? better yet could you tell them apart?
Alex says:
no, I think Paul Walker thought he was still on the set of 2 Fast 2 Furious
tony says:
so nothing good in this film but T.I. would you agree?
Alex says:
I dunno if you can call that good, but I guess its some kind of achievement
tony says:
another good point
tony says:
i didnt even mention how horrible the attempted twists in this film was
tony says:
4.5/10 for me..long live T.I.
Alex says:
5/10 I think the film...urbanized me
Alex says:
yeaaa..
tony says:
one of the stupidest actual heists ever showed in a movie
Alex says:
you fancy huh you fancy huh


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Ghost (T.I)
Tony's Pick: T.I.

Line of the Movie:
Al: in response to a truck fallking through the road: "ohhhhh shiiiii maaang!"
Tony: T.I. telling us all about the heist