The Evolution of the Coif

We of the Railing Seat Reviews take our Man Loves, Crushes and Idols very seriously...
This one is for Nic Cage; the Man, the Legend, THE COIF.

Season of the Witch

tony says:
for your listening pleasure http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5aPhGQ0L9Q so heres the question: will this film be better or worse than drive angry?
Alex says:
drive angry will be worse, way worse
tony says:
i agree. i actually liked this film for a while. kept me engaged
Alex says:
I was bored and falling asleep, maybe cuz of the buuurr and then I saw the ending twist and I thought I was watching a cutscene from Diablo 2
tony says:
i thought that it was cool how they kept you wondering if the girl was a witch or not.. or was that just me not being smart enough to figure it out? and what twist?! haha there was no twist!
Alex says:
there was a twist, it wasn't she was or was not a witch. she was a DEMON! in disguise!
tony says:
oh right right
Alex says:
you can't even remember cuz it was so bad
tony says:
then it turned into an exorcism movie. it was bad
Alex says:
holy water cleanses all
tony says:
if she was all that powerful i dont understand why she needed them to find the book. she knew where it was. i dont get that part, but come on.. nic cage was great as usual and ron pearlman is always cool even tho he looks more and more like marmaduke
Alex says:
I think he believed he was in the crusades
tony says:
nic cage believes in every role hes in. thats why hes fantastic
Alex says:
his coif was kept to a minimal in this film
Alex says:
I think the coif quota will be met in Drive Angry
tony says:
yeah that was dissapointing! it all felt like a giant quest line in world of warcraft, ending in a cutscene you would just skip..
Alex says:
it was a party quest. that ended inside a dungeon
tony says:
good point and it was a party wipe
Alex says:
no, the kid made it out, and with loot
tony says:
the kid never ressed them tho
Alex says:
he was low lvl, didn't have the spell
tony says:
and the only loot was an offhand book. we are such nerds
Alex says:
kid got the girl, thats loot
tony says:
tru tru
Alex says:
plus the offhand was server first and last
tony says:
HAHAHA good point! you're on fire today
Alex says:
no one is going to understand what we're talking about, maybe 2 readers
Alex says:
oh wait...4? who cares
tony says:
another good point. but basically this is the kinda film uwe boll wishes he could make
tony says:
thats all anyone needs to know
tony says:
thats all they need to understand
Alex says:
I got the song stuck in my head the whole time watching this film
tony says:
what song?
Alex says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5aPhGQ0L9Q
tony says:
its the season of the witch!!!!!!
Alex says:
maybe readers should listen while reading
tony says:
i'll post it at the beginning. ok 5.5/10 for me kept me engage until i realized how dumb it was
Alex says:
5/10 for me, I was bored and the production was low...january movie fodder.


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Nic Cage! for taking 10 Demon wing stabs and still fighting
Tony's Pick: the kid

Line of the Movie:
Al: that recurring scene where Nic Cage accidently stabs an innocent women and her screams of pain...it showed up 3 times in the film and it changed every time.
Tony: "hoooooooooowl"

Railing Seats Best/Worst 2010

THE BEST



Tony's picks:

1. The Fighter
2. Scott Pilgrim vs the World
3. Inception
4. Kick-Ass
5. The Town

Honourable mention: True Grit, The Crazies





Al's Picks

1. Inception
2. Black Swan
3. The Town
4. Tron Legacy
5. Piranhas 3D
Honourable mentions: Splice, Hot Tub Time Machine




Ivan's Picks

1. The Fighter
2. The Town
3. Scott Pilgrim vs the World
4. Inception
5. The Crazies
Honourable mentions: Kick-Ass, The Other Guys

The Worst

Tony's Picks

1. Knight and Day
2. Jackass 3D
3. The Last Airbender
4. RED
5. Piranhas 3D
DISHonourable Mention: The Losers

Al's Picks

1. Jonah Hex
2. Jackass 3D
3. Knight and Day
4. Easy A
5. Alice in Wonderland
DISHonourable Mention: Clash of the Titans

Ivan's Picks

1. Iron Man 2
2. Killers (another airplane tragedy. fortunately I didn't plug in the headset)
3. Piranhas 3D
4. The American (so bad that we fastforwarded to see what doesn't happen)
5. Clash of the Titans
DISHonourable mentions: Tron: Legacy (didn't see it, but biggest letdown)

Wish We saw*:

Step Up 3D
Eat Pray Love
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Little Fockers

* JUST KIDDING!

True Grit

tony says:
are you a man of true grit al?
Alex says:
How is it we are reviewing 2, count em, 2 Bridges movies, where he plays 3 roles?
tony says:
cause he has true effing grit! and hes the dude! and he is awesome
Alex says:
they needed subtitles for whenever Bridges spoke in this film. I think I only understood what the girl said
tony says:
you didnt like his mountain man western accent? i thought matt damon enunciated quite well, MATT DAmoN!
Alex says:
I only see Bridges mouth move, but all I hear is.... mmmnaaahh...naaah...ummm...nyyaaahhh...seeeee....nyahh
tony says:
hahahahahahaaha
Alex says:
eyepatch
tony says:
bridges is the man
Alex says:
he is, of true grit
tony says:
i only wish i didnt see the fighter right before this movie cause it woulda been a lot better
but i still really enjoyed it..
Alex says:
it didn't feel like a coen film either
tony says:
i think i disagree there, it had like all the whacky characters that are only around for a few scenes
like the bear shaman guy and barry pepper
Alex says:
I want bear pelts, they keep me warm
tony says:
lot of the characters felt a little cartoony tho. do you trust bear pelts dentistry skills?
Alex says:
I think he just pulled teeth...but he said he did other sorts of healing
tony says:
he was great all the acting was really good too, just a solid film... kinda boring if youre not a huge western fan tho
Alex says:
what? like that girl next to us that was writing a twitter essay?
tony says:
thats exactly who i had in mind! when she dropped her phone i was soooo giddy!
Alex says:
I think she was using 2 phones to do it
tony says:
i felt bad for her, she probably thought they were all going to go watch 'little fockers'
Alex says:
thats worse
tony says:
not to her! anyway 8.5/10 for me
Alex says:
8/10 for me, the Bridges, Maaat DAAAAAAmon and introducing that annoying girl that had to go and giiiit heers...really made the film the rest of the characters were good, but too short.
tony says:
what about barry pepper? he was good!


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Little Blackie
Tony's Pick: the girl

Line of the Movie:
Al: "Are we dealing again?!"
Tony: ''you are not le boeuf!"

Tron: Legacy 3D

Alex says:
Tron makes me want to play some ultimate frisbee or xtreme frisbee, either way, something awesome
Alex says:
barefoot,
with no shirt, like a douche
tony says:
tron makes me want to go off the grid and live out in the wild
tony says:
the only thing good in this movie was that it had jeff bridges go up against a younger computer animated jeff bridges that actually looked really real
Alex says:
so only the bridges can take on the bridges
tony says:
yes! this opens up a whole bunch of possibilities! imagine if you will 3 generations of clint eastwood fighting each other!
Alex says:
no! they're not going to make vs. movies based on actors
tony says:
they should! cause nothing else was good in this movie
Alex says:
movie was great! it is solid holiday entertainment
tony says:
visually i guess it was ok.. and that david bowie-esque character was interesting but thats about it
Alex says:
forget what the critics say, it doesn't need story, its just visual fun
tony says:
what was good about it? let me remind you of the crappy ending! NO PLOT either! and olivia wilde is so gd annoying
Alex says:
ummm I want my own virtual Olivia Wilde undigitized and made flesh
Alex says:
shiiiit, I'd make a whole army
tony says:
and i want a tron suit but thats about it
tony says:
and a tron snuggie that evil jeff bridges had. i thought you hated olivia wilde
Alex says:
that was good too, it will light my way during the night time. I want one! one Tron snuggie and my own Quorra
tony says:
but you cant possibly tell me that you thought there was a plot or an ending.. or did you just like it regardless? how was olivia wilde supposed to save humanity anyway? they never explained that
Alex says:
humanity wasn't in peril, it was about her as a digital creation, made from nothing
tony says:
what does that have to do with anything? tron coulda satisfied everyone by having more lightcycle scenes.. and/or frisbee battle scenes! everyone expected an epic showdown at the end that involved either one of the aforementioned weapons but instead we get an almost-embrace scene between the two jeff bridges... which was just strange and creepy and weird and curious and hot
Alex says:
I just wanted more glow in the dark Wilde, or that all white chick....mmmmm
tony says:
so none of the stuff i mentioned bothered you about the film?
Alex says:
nope! don't care, epic score, awesome eye candy...it was enough for me
tony says:
well it wasnt the worst film.. but i just expected more i guess but then again i didnt really remember the original
Alex says:
don't need more, it was the exact same film as the first tron, just a rehased story line, and it had all the same stuff....like a updated Tron
tony says:
what story-line!?!? oh nevermind! 6/10 for me
Alex says:
I would go 6/10 too, but Olivia gets a +1 and Daft Punk score gets another +1 making it a 8/10!
wpic!
tony says:
daft punk was cool i agree.. i have been told the music went sooo well with everything.. but i didnt pay too much attention, you're right about that


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: the 2 Bridges
Tony's Pick: the old dude with the beeper

Line of the Movie:
Al: " You're messing with my Zen thing maaan!!"
Tony: 'Radical man!"

tony says:
everytime bridges says anything that remotely sounds like dude lebowski its epic.. agreed?
Alex says:
there was a carpet in his hideout