Hot Tub Time Machine

Alex says:
Cusack didn't save lives in this film or did he?
tony says:
he couldn't save this film either
Alex says:
uh, greatest comedy since the hangover!
tony says:
i mean i think everyone who goes into a movie called hot tub time machine has got to think it's going to be a little dumb.. and everyone was right! it's the greatest comedy since hangover 'cause we havent seen a comedy since hangover
Alex says:
there must've been one
tony says:
dont get me wrong there were funny parts.. the way they looked in the past was really funny.. and robert coddry was good.. but overall it just felt like a failed judd apatow film. the 80s was a retarded era, they shoulda did more with that.
Alex says:
judd apatow is fail anyways, Hot Tub Time Machine is the greatest thing since the 80s
tony says:
you can't be serious
Alex says:
greatest film evar!
tony says:
what did you like about it?
Alex says:
everything! all the 80s references, the vulgarity of the jokes and the retardedness of the whole film, and Crispin Glover
tony says:
crispin glover was great, i agree.. not enough 80s references tho.. they referenced everything at the very beginning of the time travel. the discussion about terminator was funny too. i mean it wasn't THAT bad.. just didnt stand out to me
Alex says:
maybe there hasn't been a comedy in a while. comedies are dead. unless they are in 3D
tony says:
hahahahaha perhaps you're right... i had some laughs anyway.. can't really ask for more
and i'll always support a cusack film. john OR joan
Alex says:
no joan! No!
tony says:
joan is great. did you like the nerdy kid?
Alex says:
no, he could've been replaced with any current teen-25something nerd actor that Hollywood seems to keep on stock now
tony says:
too many seth rogen/jonah hill/jack blacks/michael ceras/mclovin guys now
Alex says:
they went from giving the nerd/underdog/socialretard a good name back to where they started before...maybe even lower now cuz we've got normal ppl trying to be like them now
tony says:
so overall i'm gonna give this movie 6.5/10.. i think you get exactly what you think you'll get from this film.. there is a hot tub.. the hot tub is a time machine.. funniness ensues...
Alex says:
7.5/10, awesomely retarded film to add to the comedy collection (if your collection consists of dude comedies)
tony says:
evil crispin glover was better than good crispin glover
Alex says:
but he wants to be good
tony says:
he wants tips!
Alex says:
evil crispin asks anyways


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: the Lou
Tony's Pick: crispin glover

Line of the Movie:
Al: "its like a Hot Tub Time Machine" @_@
Tony: "yes I am writing break-up poetry! My heart hurts!"

A Serious Man

SERIOUS SPOILER ALERT!

tony says:
ok so i really wanted to do a SERIOUS review on a SERIOUS man.. and i really wish i could.. but i SERIOUSLY don't understand the film enough.. not even sure if i liked it or not.. it was funny though
denice the piece says:
it was not funny. it was very serious.
tony says:
see i didn't get it at all!
denice the piece says:
its all about being cursed by god for no reason.
denice the piece says:
that's not funny.
denice the piece says:
haha, it was funny when the old rabbi at the end was quoting jefferson airplane.
tony says:
you must forgive me, i'm used to doing reviews on movies written by 3 of the 6 writers of scary movie.
tony says:
see i didn't even catch that
denice the piece says:
scary movie, also a very serious film, right?
tony says:
pretty serious yes
tony says:
i really liked how funny sy ableman was
tony says:
and how everyone reacted to him
denice the piece says:
sy ableman. now he was very serious man.
tony says:
he was so smug!
tony says:
seriously smug
denice the piece says:
d
denice the piece says:
p
denice the piece says:
um, something serious happened to my keyboard just then.
denice the piece says:
i don't think god wants me to be doing this review.
tony says:
it's a curse!
denice the piece says:
i don't know why! i'm trying to be a very serious man!
denice the piece says:
its just. .. why is this happening to me? i haven't done anything!
tony says:
hahahahaha
tony says:
i think this movie had one too many dream sequences.. would you agree?
denice the piece says:
what was your favorite?
denice the piece says:
mine is when his bro gets shot by his neighbor while he is sailing away.
tony says:
i'd have to agree with you there, that neighbour was one intense dude
denice the piece says:
haha, yeah, i love when the neighbor, who hates larry, asks if the korean father dude is bothering him. like he cares.
tony says:
that korean student to me was one of the funniest characters.. he and his father are experts at setting up catch 22s
tony says:
did you like the kid that dropped the F bomb every chance he had?
denice the piece says:
fuck yeah, i did.
denice the piece says:
that kid is like. ..me as a kid.
denice the piece says:
and as an adult
tony says:
how did you feel about the ending?
denice the piece says:
haha, you are only asking because you want me to explain it to you.
tony says:
you know me too well.. it was like watching no country for old men again... how that ended... i remember being really confused, but mortified at seeming stupid, so i did this awkward clap as if it was the greatest ending in the world
tony says:
i had no clue about the ending, i only knew it ended 'cause the credits started..
denice the piece says:
you did not clap.
tony says:
i did so clap! both times i watched it.. both times confused
denice the piece says:
okay, here is what i think of the ending. ..
denice the piece says:
so, his son has had a very carefree like, right? he just has worried about watching f troop and his transistor radio and like, the 20 bucks he owes someone for pot.
denice the piece says:


denice the piece says:


denice the piece says:
d
denice the piece says:

tony says:
i cant see your writing
denice the piece says:
w
tony says:
CURSE
denice the piece says:
i can type again.
tony says:
what have we done?!
denice the piece says:
fuck the curse.
tony says:
HASHIM will make us pay!
denice the piece says:
okay, so son.. .no cares.
denice the piece says:
has his barmitzvah, goes to the old wise rabbi, and leaves his office on the path to becoming a serious man.
denice the piece says:
so, larry gets a phone call at the end. . .bad news, have to talk about the x-rays. more bad bad stuff for larry even though he hasn't done anything.
tony says:
DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY?
denice the piece says:
same time he is getting the phone call, the big black tornado is coming towards his son.
denice the piece says:
its like. .. fuck your simple life, no worries. you're about to enter into adulthood and, no matter how much you try, you aren't gonna understand any bit of it. even if you try your hardest to be good, you're going to be blindsided by things that are out of your control. is it god punishing you? teaching you a lesson? does it even matter?
tony says:
that was the most passionate analysis of a movie-ending of all time
tony says:
and we totally gave away the ending.. but thats how we roll
tony says:
and that makes a lot more sense now... i had to rewind the first time i saw it to make sure my dvd didnt skip.. now i kinda get it
denice the piece says:
okay, so there is one line in the movie that like, summed it all up for me. he's talking about the math of the dead cat, right? but really, the dead cat doesn't matter. he says its a fable, an imperfect model. that's what everything we have been told is. its an imperfect model. everyone expects life to be "you do this, you get this" but that's just not how it is. all the tales we have been told. .
denice the piece says:
.. .aren't relevant.
denice the piece says:
they are just pictures to prove a point. but they don't matter.
tony says:
mind blown
denice the piece says:
god, the more i think of it. the more i like the movie.
tony says:
the more i read your review the more i understand and the more i think i like the movie
denice the piece says:
hahah
tony says:
so i'm gonna give it a 7/10
tony says:
woulda been ?/10 if i had to do this myself
denice the piece says:
it isn't a review. it's a deconstruction.
denice the piece says:
haha. okay, um, 9/10. cuz i think i get it now.
tony says:
oh you get it!


The Chelios Heart Award
Denice's Pick: Larry
Tony's Pick: Larry

Line of the Movie:
Denice: "i mean, even i don't understand the dead cat", "SY ABLEMAN!?!"
Tony: "What is it? Is it F-Troop?"

Alice in Wonderland

Alex says:
I think Alice in Underland was epic fail, didn't live up to hype
Alex says:
Burton is hit then miss then hit and miss
Alex says:
you know she wasn't going to be in any danger, so its not believable
tony says:
yeah it was kinda boring
tony says:
but dont you think it sent an excellent message to female teens ?
Alex says:
what message, believe in 6 impossible things before breakfast?
Alex says:
I'd marry Hamish, and take his moneh, thats what I'll get out of it if I was a teenaged girl
Alex says:
MANEATER!
Alex says:
1month cooldown
tony says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
tony says:
al i had lots to say about this film, but you just completely obliterated all my thoughts with your epic words
tony says:
BUT
tony says:
i did love the creatures
tony says:
especially the frogs
tony says:
and BONHAM CARTER WAS EXCELLENT as the red queen
Alex says:
yes she was, it was her cwown
Alex says:
tweedles were kinda dissappointing, chershire was done well, and the castles and the guards, the actual human characters were boring
tony says:
did you like the white queen?
tony says:
cause she was sooo annoying
Alex says:
hathaway is hawt no matter the film
tony says:
but why did she have to stand like a rtard?
tony says:
answer that
Alex says:
cuz shes the white queen
Alex says:
she floats
tony says:
dumb
Alex says:
and glides
tony says:
moronic
Alex says:
your face
tony says:
bonham carter is hotter anyway
Alex says:
gwoss
tony says:
hahah 'gwoss'.
tony says:
the whole movie looked choppy
tony says:
crispin glover always looked photoshopped
Alex says:
OFF WITH HER HEAD
Alex says:
I'd not recommend this film, not even for the effects
tony says:
do u think the red queen likes the yeah yeah yeahs?
Alex says:
yeah I can see that
Alex says:
go watch the original disney version
Alex says:
or go watch Oz
tony says:
not even for depp?
tony says:
depp is always good
tony says:
but he wasnt in the film long enough
Alex says:
nope, this is just small time stuff for depp
Alex says:
he probably acts like this on his day off
tony says:
HAHAHA
tony says:
ok i'm gonna give it 6/10 for the 6 impossibles
Alex says:
5.5/10 for me, this is a burton fail in my books
tony says:
OFF WITH THEIR HEAD!

The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: the Dog
Tony's Pick: mad hatter

Line of the Movie:
Al: "I need a pig here, a warm pig"
Tony: "SPOON!"

tony says:
oh good one the dog is heart!
tony says:
how many times did he run between the castles?
Alex says:
4
Alex says:
and once was non stop

Shutter Island

tony says:
im just gonna say without spoiling the "twist" that i figured out the twist just by viewing the trailer
Shellie says:
You did not! Did you?
tony says:
and for that reason alone i can't say this was a great great film
tony says:
i so did
Alex says:
I think Tone wants a studio audience clapping
Shellie says:
Well he aint gonna get it! It's not the movies fault that the trailer spoiled it!
tony says:
al you know i figured it out
tony says:
you had some whack conspiracy involving aliens and dinosaurs.
Alex says:
your theory was Leo was in the Matrix
tony says:
THAT WAS SHELLIE'S!
Shellie says:
What! I never said anything about the Matrix!
tony says:
haha ok seriously, is there anything ben kingsley cant do?
Alex says:
he can't do a kids film
tony says:
YES HE CAN! and max von sydow! the man was ancient in the exorcist. and he still looks like he can kick your ass
Alex says:
please, he could barely stand in this film
tony says:
its his stature
Shellie says:
I don't think I saw him standing once?
tony says:
he doesnt need to stand!
tony says:
he can stare you down
Alex says:
from his seated position?
tony says:
yes!
Shellie says:
Ok can we talk about Mark Ruffalo? Who CAN stand?
tony says:
thoughts on ruffalo guys?
Shellie says:
He's adorable. That's all I gotta say about him. We can move on now.
tony says:
he was nothing but a lackey
tony says:
like he is in every film
tony says:
DIS!
Alex says:
I was kinda meh about ruffalo before watching this film, now the needle tips past meh, so I think that says something
tony says:
thats how i feel about michelle williams
tony says:
she does a good crazy
Shellie says:
michelle williams freaks me the f out
Shellie says:
Tony, you're dead. Al, you're my hero.
Alex says:
internet high-five!
Shellie says:
WOO!
tony says:
dorks!
Alex says:
I thought Jackie Earle Haley did a good job as maximum security nut job
tony says:
ward c was the bomb!
Alex says:
Tone wants to take naps there
tony says:
thoughts on the film as a whole?
Shellie says:
Predictable. But they threw in some stuff that made the predictable part less predictable.
Alex says:
well done, its Scorsese after all
Alex says:
recommendable but not awesome
tony says:
agreed it was predictable but visually really cool and there were some intense moments
tony says:
the best being the scene in the cave
tony says:
very intense
Alex says:
I liked the flashbacks too
Shellie says:
The flashbacks were too disturbing!
tony says:
u just like michelle williams
Alex says:
she evil!
Shellie says:
But does that make her less hot?
Alex says:
no
tony says:
al crazy or hot?
Shellie says:
are you asking me for my opinion on al?
Alex says:
both
tony says:
hahahaa shellie
tony says:
al is hot we all know that
Shellie says:
I really think the setting is not ideal, but yes...Al is crazy hot
tony says:
so als a 10 but i;d have to give this film a 7.5/10.. good but not great
Shellie says:
you gave this film the same rating you gave crazy heart?!
Alex says:
lower for me, 6.5/10
Shellie says:
6/10 for me
tony says:
6/10?! i thought you liked the film!
Alex says:
its good, but not awesome good,
Shellie says:
i give mark ruffalo 11/10...he helped make the movie.
tony says:
but we both agree al is 10/10?
Shellie says:
Yes...that one is a no brainer.
tony says:
oh and i got to give a shout out to emily mortimer
tony says:
now she;'s hot!
Alex says:
she does a good crazy too
tony says:
excellent crazy
Shellie says:
i give her 54/10
tony says:
who would win in a fight? ward c of shutter island or the crazies in the crazies?
Alex says:
ward c
Alex says:
they got unpredictables
tony says:
x-factors?
Alex says:
yes


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: gotta give it to the escapee, cause she got out (sort of)
Tony's Pick: mark ruffalo
Shellie's Pick: mark ruffalo

Line of the Movie:
Al: "maybe, the whole time; you were looking into them, they were looking into you!"
Tony: "we're dually appointed federal marshals!"
Shellie: any line where mark ruffalo says "Boss"

Crazy Heart

Shellie says:
first off, i just want to say i think i have lung cancer AND liver failure after seeing that movie.
tony says:
there was enough whiskey consumption to make it a western
Shellie says:
that's as close to a western as I'm gonna get, so lets just say it was.
Shellie says:
what did you think of jean?
tony says:
i thought she was wonderful.. didnt really believe that she would fall for jeff bridges.. but maggie gylenhal will always be the person to replace katie holmes in batman.. so she can do no wrong
Shellie says:
you thought that evil woman was wonderful?!
tony says:
how was she evil?!
Shellie says:
she knew bad was a drunk...and she just leaves her son with him because she's *gasp* TIRED???
tony says:
she trusted him!
tony says:
trusted!
Shellie says:
she shouldn't have!
Shellie says:
you don't leave your kid with an alcoholic! i think that's somewhere in the 10 commandments even!
tony says:
you dont understand country singers, they have a certain irresistible charm about them
tony says:
she was under his spell
Shellie says:
are you saying you understand the charm of male country singers better than me? tee hee hee
tony says:
um lets move on
tony says:
so i just wanted to say i acutally seen this movie twice
tony says:
once when it was crazy heart
tony says:
and once when it was called the wrestler
tony says:
almos EXACT same story lines
Shellie says:
enlighten me on the wrestler...do male wrestlers also have said charm?
Shellie says:
I'm imdb'ing now.
tony says:
male wrestlers have an even more powerful charm
Shellie says:
you disgust me.
Shellie says:
would you say the wrestler is a must see?
tony says:
now that you've seen crazy heart you actually have seen the wrestler
Shellie says:
oh well that just saved me 2 hours of my life.
tony says:
replace alcholic washed up country star with washed up wrestler
tony says:
replace maggie gylenhal with marisa tomei
tony says:
replace one last kick ass concer with one last kick ass wrestling match
tony says:
replace son with daughter
tony says:
done
Shellie says:
I'd much rather see Jeff Bridges with Mickey Rourke. Marisa vs Maggie is questionable.
tony says:
jeff bridges with micky rourke?!?
tony says:
like mickey is jeffs love interest? NOW who's blinded by the charm?
Shellie says:
jeff bridges THAN mickey rourke. typo!
Shellie says:
Hmmm...that probably wouldnt be any less disgusting than the actual love scene is this movie.
tony says:
now i know u dont like collin farrel but how did you feel about him in here?
Shellie says:
disgusted. ashamed. revolted. horrified.
tony says:
why?!?!
Shellie says:
i thought that was horrible casting.
tony says:
he was a class act!
tony says:
his character i mean!
Shellie says:
he was totally unbelievable as a country singer!
tony says:
he did his own singing!!!
Shellie says:
and he had a ponytail!
Shellie says:
okay...i give him props for the singing. but that doesnt cancel out the ponytail.
tony says:
yes that was quite offensive
Shellie says:
I had to avert my eyes at times.
tony says:
oh sorry another comparison between the wrestler and crazy hear, replace bruce springsteen with ryan bingham
Shellie says:
But let's be serious now...this truly was an amazing movie. And I cried a lot. And Jeff Bridges did a phenomenal job.
Shellie says:
Bruce Springsteen is a pedophile!
Shellie says:
***EDIT THAT OUT, I DONT WANT ANGRY LETTERS*** NOTE: Listen to "I'm on Fire"
tony says:
YOU LEAVE THE BOSS ALONE!
tony says:
it really was good.. and he DID deserve the oscar. but i feel the best thing about this movie was the music, and that it introduced me to ryan bingham
tony says:
i already have cowboy boots coming from ebay, im just looking for some spurs and a hat
Shellie says:
I almost clapped after every performance. I had to stop myself. I'm not even kidding.
Shellie says:
Tony! You'd make a great cowboy!
Shellie says:
*cough cough*
tony says:
HAHA i'll rock the ponytail and then you'll see
tony says:
what did you think of the ending? without giving anything away
Shellie says:
Oh boy...this is going to be hard without giving it away. Depressing? Not what I expected for sure.
Shellie says:
I threw the rest of my popcorn at the screen
tony says:
haha you did?!
tony says:
i thought it wasnt depressing enough!
Shellie says:
Yeah, the theater broke into a full scale riot. You're sadistic Tony! It doesnt get much more depressing than that!
tony says:
HE'S A BETTER MAN!
tony says:
in the wrestler mickey dies!!
tony says:
i mean um
Shellie says:
oh nice.
Shellie says:
or are you just throwing the readers off by saying that?!
Shellie says:
now everyone must go see this classic to see how it ends!
tony says:
who knows? but my point is jeff was looking good at the end of the movie no?
Shellie says:
Well he didn't have yellow bile dripping from his beard, so that was definitely a step up.
tony says:
ok so i;m gonna give it a 7/10 good film
Shellie says:
that's it?
Shellie says:
8.5/10 for me
tony says:
7 is high!
Shellie says:
i would have given it a 9 if tommy didn't have a ponytail
tony says:
ok ok 7.5/10
Shellie says:
better!



The Chelios Heart Award
Shellie's Pick: buddy for putting up with Bad's breath
Tony's Pick: jeff bridges

Line of the Movie:
Shellie: "Did the salesman threaten to shoot your dog?"
Tony: "DONT TOUCH ME!"

The Crazies

tony says:
ok so i actually really enjoyed the crazies
tony says:
plot was predictable, story has been done before, ending was stupid
tony says:
but i liked it
Alex says:
I wanted a Zombie film, but I guess with the influx lately they would want to seperate it from the batch
Alex says:
Would you say Olyphant made the film?
tony says:
before i answer that
tony says:
let me ask you something
tony says:
when tim olyphant plays a good guy role: what are you more certain of, that he will survive or of your own existence?
Alex says:
that he will survive, and maybe out live me
tony says:
me too
tony says:
and yes he made the film his deputy was kickass too
Alex says:
when I watch Olyphant films, I question whether I truly exist or not,
tony says:
I question the gentle balance of life itself
tony says:
i really really found two scenes really awesome
tony says:
the car wash scene was completely intense
tony says:
and the scene at the diner where the crazy guy is walking towards the truck and you see olyphant fighting the other crazy, i dont think ive ever seen a scene like that
Alex says:
Crazies don't work together
tony says:
but they arnt against each other either!
Alex says:
car wash scene was good, well executed, but the whole film was lacking of crazies
tony says:
yeah it was a bit slow
Alex says:
there were a lot of scenes of the 4 walking around, and I thought they should just make a Left4Dead movie already
tony says:
and no way olypants wife shoulda last as long as she did
tony says:
but was that because of her own skill or olyphants makeup?
Alex says:
olyphants, its like how Cusack's family was able to survice 2012 armegeddon
tony says:
good point al
tony says:
good point
tony says:
deputy was one of the most badass characters to date
tony says:
he is how i want to live and die in real life
tony says:
he is my new hero
tony says:
and how i want to look like as well
Alex says:
sticking it to the man and scoring for the underdogs?
tony says:
yes
tony says:
and thats how i want to die, "F YOU FOR DOING THIS" POW!
Alex says:
you better start growing that hillbilly goatee
tony says:
i would if i could brother
tony says:
so i give this film 7/10 it was good but it had flaws
Alex says:
6.5/10 for me, its better than some zombie films and I would watch Crazies 2: Crazier...but its too tame for me
tony says:
it was a little tame that's true
tony says:
haha crazier


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Deputy
Tony's Pick: olyphants deputy

Line of the Movie:
Al: "Shiiiit"
Tony: "we're in trouble!"

Wolfman

Alex says:
so yeeahh...howaboutdat wolfman moovie?
Alex says:
sorry wolfmen
Alex says:
snicker
tony says:
wolfmen indeed! it was kinda lame. plot was stupid. characters look stupid. i still am in love with emily blunt though
tony says:
do you even remember the plot?
Alex says:
I want a still of that one shot of Emily Blunt as my wallpaper
Alex says:
there were wolves, biting each other, the son becomes the man, yada yada, epic saberwulf fight scene
tony says:
which shot?
Alex says:
where she was top nekkid
Alex says:
AOOOOO
Alex says:
seewudIdidthur?
tony says:
yes you are quite brilliant
tony says:
i just felt like i was watching an episode of scooby doo or something, wolfman could've been 30 mins long
Alex says:
I kept thinking of that Shakira song when I was watching this film
Alex says:
and also reminded to watch Che with Benicio one day
tony says:
wherever whenever?
Alex says:
no, shewolf
tony says:
oh yeah!
tony says:
so anyway
tony says:
pretty lame movie
tony says:
they tried to make it look old style, and feel oldstyle.. but there is a reason why those old movies are good, they had a plot
tony says:
this had wolfmen, so i guess the title was accurate
Alex says:
I liked Hugo's part, thats about it, everyone else seemed bored, even the actors
Alex says:
and maybe Singh, he was a warrior for God
tony says:
singh didnt have enough screentime
tony says:
and he didnt really fight ever
tony says:
we just knew he was badass from word of mouth
Alex says:
I'd take his word for it
tony says:
so would i, but i wish i woulda seen it
tony says:
ok so i give this 5.5/10
Alex says:
5/10 for me, Emily and Hugo barely saves this film,
Alex says:
better off watching the original


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: its a pass between Hugo and Singh
Tony's Pick: emily blunt

Line of the Movie:
Al: "Being Sikh means being a warrior for God"
Tony: "I'll KILL ALL OF YOU!"

Alex says:
I'm gonna change my religion so I can say that