Terminator Salvation

tony says:
He's back but in CG form.. for that alone.. i puked
tony says:
in a bad way
Alex says:
circa 1980s
Ivan says:
I think I speak for all of us when I say that I HATE fluff
tony says:
there were so many things that was bad about this film though.. not just a CG'd arnold
Alex says:
I felt like I watched the matrix sequels
Ivan says:
oh yeah, before we start I'd like to make a request
Ivan says:
Can you guys heartpunch me when I come back to Canada?
Ivan says:
and then restart my heart, by pounding it some more?
tony says:
only if you promise to then give me said heart.. if i die
Ivan says:
If it saves your life and makes you the indestructible leader of the resistance, then yeah, I'll give you my fn heart
tony says:
scores!
Alex says:
ummm Moon Bloodgood
Alex says:
FUGGIN HAWT
Alex says:
thats all I got from the film
Ivan says:
Thank you for the contribution Al
Alex says:
np, anytime
Alex says:
thank MB
tony says:
she had a red streak on her eyes that made her look like cyclops!
Ivan says:
she fell in love with a robot Al
tony says:
yeah that too!
tony says:
u think it was the robot learning from her.. but really it was her that learned from the robot!
tony says:
OMG im intelligent
Alex says:
ummm its a cyborg, the only one of its kind
Alex says:
so this whole film is a time paradox
Alex says:
if Kyle died at any time during the film, Christian Bale would have de-materialized on screen
Ivan says:
Time paradoxes only work in the Metal Gear Solid franchise
tony says:
agreed... and how many times does bale have to tell people that he's john connor? that pissed me off
tony says:
THIS IS JOHN CONNOR.. THIS IS JOHN CONNOR.. THIS IS JOHN CONNOR...
we know!! shut up
Alex says:
I"M BATMAN
Ivan says:
He also tried to incorporate the Batman voice in this movie
Ivan says:
very upsetting
tony says:
vexing even
Ivan says:
I don't know about you guys, but i was able to call at least 25 scenes
Alex says:
Helena Bonham Carter as the face of Skynet?
Alex says:
don't like it
tony says:
agreed al.. on that, i do agree .. ok thoughts on the little girl in the film? in a post apocalyptic film.. i HATE it when there are kids... kids cost people lives... IMPORTANT people... i dont want to go into a terminator movie feeling sympathetic.. i want robots killing and exploding things!
Alex says:
this isn't a terminator movie
Ivan says:
yeah! I felt the same way. This movie in no way, shape or form felt like a terminator movie
Alex says:
its just a post-apocalyptic film about douche bags fighting rusty machines
Alex says:
they happened to be named Juunn Caaanuuuhhh
tony says:
the machines are dumb.. why even build those ghetto motorcycles and dumb snake things? why not just build a whole army of those HUGE decepticon-esque laser shooters?
Ivan says:
why not just drop a bunch of bombs on anything that breathes?
Ivan says:
GG
Alex says:
they're harvesters, thats all they're good for
Alex says:
the t-800 got looks, ahnold skin jobs, and can be sent back in time
tony says:
yeah but come on al..
and another thing! how did u guys feel about john connor jumping into the ocean and finding a submarine?.. i throat punched myself at that part.. and it didnt take the dumbness or the pain away.
tony says:
the ocean is vast... idiots
Ivan says:
and dark
Ivan says:
and freaking cold! Hey, I have an idea, let's try and find a needle in a haystack!
Alex says:
he's batman
tony says:
he is no longer batman to me.. until he does another batman film
Alex says:
batman can, john connor, nope
Alex says:
omgad
tony says:
batman would succeed in heart punching robots that didnt even have hearts
Ivan says:
I'm not a doctor or anything like that, but I'm pretty sure the odds of surviving a cross-species heart transplant in the middle of a filthy desert are astronomical
Alex says:
they're robots, its surgical !
tony says:
yeah but john connor isnt a robot!..... ass!
Ivan says:
Al is a sympathizer
Ivan says:
f you al!
Alex says:
I'm with Moon! hawtness
Ivan says:
I give Al a 1/10
tony says:
i give al 1/10 as well
Alex says:
both of you can suck my neural net powcessor.. its a lurning computah
tony says:
moon sold out connor!
tony says:
and why the hell does common have to be in every film?
Ivan says:
Oh wait, how could I forget about the cyber-fish
Ivan says:
WTF is that?
Ivan says:
are you kidding me?
Ivan says:
were they cyber-bugs too?
tony says:
i think yes!
tony says:
there was, they were scouts.
tony says:
insert throat punch here
Ivan says:
but really, metal fish?
Ivan says:
why?
tony says:
cause they had to make small ponds, puddles, streams, lakes, marshes, and fjords unsafe
tony says:
insert panther throat punch here
Ivan says:
inserting dragon throat punch!
tony says:
ok so i'm giving al a 1/10 and this movie a 4.5/10
Ivan says:
I'll give it a 5/10
tony says:
no more terminators! terminate this franchise
Alex says:
I give it a T2 Ahnuld sinking in lava thumbs down
Alex says:
I'm done with */10s
Ivan says:
The Terminator franchise ended in 1991. Let's leave it at that
Alex says:
2/10
Alex says:
1-Moon
2-Bloodgood
Alex says:
done
tony says:
i won't be back.. ever to watch a terminator film.. unless its just 3 hrs of terminator music

The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Moon Bloodgood, cuz without her, no cyborg guy helping out
Tony's Pick: the guys heart literally
Ivan: robot terminator guy

Line of the Movie:
Al: "2 day old coyote, better than 3 day old coyote"
Tony: "this is john connor" x 25
Ivan: "your heart, it's so strong"

Drag Me To Hell

Alex says:
LAMMIA!
Alex says:
I take on the black goat, any given day
tony says:
after watching this film i announce that anything u've ever given me is just borrowed.. i dont accept ownership tony says: the black goat would kick ur butt!
Alex says:
your birthday is coming up, I'm going to find something of mine to give to you in disguise of a gift
tony says:
i'm just borrowing it!
Alex says:
here you are Mr.Wang, happy birthday, have a button
tony says:
but seriously.. this movie was awesome.. best horror film i seen in a while... sam raimi is back!
Alex says:
he is, its old school horror that he perfected
Alex says:
but as for best, I dunno, feels to b-movie like to me,
Alex says:
certainly great to see it back as a genre, I want it back
tony says:
agreed.. but come on.. even for a B film it was great
Alex says:
true
tony says:
it had killer handkerchiefs, talking goats, bodily fluid of all kinds, one liners galore (from the girl from white oleander no less), and gypsy curses
Alex says:
too many body fluids, spit, worms, green enbalming fluids...and that fly? common, stomach acid would've rocked that
Alex says:
talking goat was the best part
Alex says:
nothing like an animal being pocessed and then suddenly having the ability to speak
tony says:
thoughts on justin long?
Alex says:
2005 and Mac called, they want him back
tony says:
i thought he was tolerable at least... i mean i hate those mac ads like everyone else.. but i didnt feel like killing him in this film.. which is weird.. punching him in the throat.. yes.. but killing? no. tony says: him being a university professor? come on now.. if justin long was an x-man hes superpowers would be sucking
Alex says:
I thought I was a fan from Die Hard, but NOPE
Alex says:
speaking of gypsy curses, theres way too much old lady gumming alison lohman
Alex says:
thats just gross
tony says:
lohman took it like a champ
Alex says:
she had her done with the staple
Alex says:
and the ruler?
Alex says:
gypsy grandma is supernatural
tony says:
oh yeah that fight at the beggining... i've never seen office supplies being put to such awesome usage
tony says:
i loved the old school feel... and i love that raimi obviously has come back to something he loves.. instead of doing crappy spidermans tony says: 8.5/10 for me
Alex says:
she got destroyed on the dashboard
Alex says:
the old school feel was the sounds, certainly jars the audience
Alex says:
screw spiderman, 3 was terrible
Alex says:
still sticking with my 7.5 + a set of dentures + gumming /10
tony says:
al i have a button i want to give u.. its made of gold..
Alex says:
oh gold?! suuuurrreee!
tony says:
CURSED!!!!

The Chelios Award
Al's Pick: Justin long takes it, but little good it did him
Tony's Pick: sigh.. Justin Long

Line of the Movie:
Al: ScapeGoat: "SCREW YOU BITCH!, YOU TRICKED ME! BAAAAHHHHH~"
Tony: Lohman's one liners.

The Soloist: A Solo Review

I had some time to kill one day and so I decided to watch The Soloist. Here is my solo review.

tony says:

There are many things I absolutely hated about The Soloist so I'm just start with the one thing I did like. In this type of film there is almost always a romantic side plot and a heart warming overcome-all-odds type of finale. There wasn't any of that in this movie and I appreciate that. Now...

THE FOUR THINGS I HATED ABOUT THE SOLOIST

1. Jamie Foxx

I don't know about the rest of you, but between his emergence as a music star and his constant choices of roles for the Oscar grab, I'm getting really sick of this guy. It's a shame because I loved him in In Living Colour. Now before everyone jumps all over me and says, "Tony you stupid moron, his performance was great in Ray, he is so talented in The Soloist!", let me just first say that I haven't seen Ray. But I have seen Radio starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Jamie Foxx was more annoying in this film than Radio. If you doubt me, close your eyes while he's talking in this movie and tell me who he sounds like. Don't be shocked if you answered Mike Tyson. In fact he seems to me just to be doing an imitation of Iron Mike. Anytime your inspiration for a role is Mike FN Tyson, you have problems.

2. Robert Downey Jr.

Nothing against RDJ, I just listed him here because he didn't put on his Iron Man suit and proton cannon Jamie Foxx into the stratosphere.

3. Catherine Keener

I LOVE Catherine Keener. She didn't get enough screen time. When she was on screen she was a douche bag.

4. The Music

You think a film about a musical genius would have good music. Granted I don't know anything about the cello, or the violin, but I've watched other musical movies and even I could tell when I'm listening to something glorious. The music here sounded like I was in a 8th grade recital, a bad one at that.

Star Trek

BONUS REVIEW: Ivan and D are back with a special review of Star Trek all the way from beautiful Croatia!

d. says:
hi Ivanhoe
Ivan says:
english mode: ON! haha, did you just call me Ivanhoe?
d. says:
isnt that ur name darling?
Ivan says:
pretty much! i think you gave me swine flu. btw, how are you?
d. says:
wait?! am i talking to my boyfriend?! Ivanhoe Gospich
Ivan says:
yes, this is he
d. says:
good, swine flu?! c'mon, incubation period is done
Ivan says:
good? you're happy you gave me the swine flu?or good as in "i'm good"?
d. says:
i am good, thank you
Ivan says:
awesome. now that the formalities are out of the way, let's get to the review!
d. says:
how are u?
Ivan says:
i'm freaking awesome!
d. says:
cool1 so u like?
Ivan says:
I loved Star Trek. Even though we went to watch it at the ghetto theather. The popcorn was just right, however.
d. says:
it was not that bad, i just wanted at least something new for u, like the environment since u've already seen it
Ivan says:
i appreciate your concern for my movie-watching experience.
d. says:
(i have a feeling my English writing is gonna be terrible today), try not to pay attention!and laugh too hard
Ivan says:
yes, let's not give her too hard a time for any mistakes that may occur. but we're not here to judge you, we're here to judge Spock and crew
d. says:
anyway, can u please buy that police motorcycle for me?
Ivan says:
i was just thinking about how awesome that thing was. he was really friendly too (the robo-cop) and yes, i will buy you one, even though you won't let me ride a real motorcycle
d. says:
awesome, u can leave out the robo cop! um, me?! Ivan, back to Star trek.
Ivan says:
ok ok... what did you think of the cast?
d. says:
did u like the Russian guy?!
Ivan says:
the russian kid was awesome! Nikolai Pavlelovic Pilksin Rumplestilskin Yelstin he was only 17! and a genius! I also thought that Bones did a wonderful job. "damnit, I'm only a doctor man"
d. says:
i think they were all great!! i guess both spocks are my favorite, even though in my head Zachary Quinto is always gonna be Sylar, unfortunately. hes a great actor for all those cold hearted roles
Ivan says:
spock was "spock on". haha, i'm so funny. but really, i think that mr. nemoy is proud of his 2009 counterpart
d. says:
indeed
Ivan says:
James Tiberius Kirk was a badass in his own fn right as well! i don't know what dumpster they found him in, and i dont want to know. i do know that he was the man
d. says:
he was ok
Ivan says:
it appears we watched a different movie
d. says:
ok, a bit more than ok, ill give him that. jk, ya, of course he was good. oh my mic (cat) Barney is saying mijaaau = hi !
Ivan says:
say hello to the kitty cat as well! i also thought the chase scenes with the crazy monsters in Canada were fantastic! you know he's gonna outrun them and survive, but damnit they made you think "he may die"
d. says:
oh yeah, i almost forgot! and the parachute scene
Ivan says:
oh yeah! the jobber in the red was a tool
d. says:
what did u think of Harold?
Ivan says:
what about Sulu? tony wasn't too impressed and will always consider him to be Harold from whitecastle
d. says:
haha
Ivan says:
great timing. i think he was perfect for the role. there is nobody else out there currently (short of perhaps Al himself) that can pull it off
d. says:
i have to agree with him. i think they needed a tougher guy. dont ask me what that means
Ivan says:
you mean someone like Jason Statham? do you think he can actually fly a USS enterprise?
d. says:
frak yeah!!! duuuuh
Ivan says:
he couldn't fly a USS that crappy one
d. says:
Jason Statham can fly anything!!! my keyboard is dying on me
Ivan says:
ok ok, i was being facetious. and we will wrap the review up then
d. says:
ok, so all and all, it was a really great movie!!! and thx for watching it with me again!
Ivan says:
i will watch it with you again! and it was a great movie i give it an 8/10 what say you?
d. says:
me too 8/10
Ivan says:
thank you for reviewing "STAR TREK" with me, and i hope to do this again!
d. says: thank you for the invitation to write it with u!!!

The Chelios Award
Ivan: Future Spock
D: Future Spock

Line of the Movie:
Ivan: anything that ended in "that pointy-eared bastard"
D: Scotty asking "Do they still have sandwiches there?"

Star Trek

tony says:
al if you were on star trek you'd be a red shirt
Alex says:
a red shirt that gets the green skin chicks
Alex says:
awesome!
tony says:
what did you think of the movie?
Alex says:
Space...
Alex says:
I think this star trek did for the franchise what the star wars prequel wished it did
Alex says:
there I said it...
tony says:
i agree... i really liked this film! awesome job overall.. i wasnt a fan of the original series.. but i dont think you had to be.. it was fun
Alex says:
it might be the whole 'origin' thing thats making it so good
Alex says:
its a good cast and well acted and directed
Alex says:
JJ Abrams FTMW
tony says:
even harold?!
tony says:
harold as sulu was a little strang for me
Alex says:
SULU!?
Alex says:
you see those siiiick moves?!
Alex says:
and a space sword!
tony says:
oh come on... those moves were cg'd.. harold cant do that
Alex says:
yes he can! he's star fleet!
tony says:
he's white castle.. and that's all he'll ever be
Alex says:
leave harold alone
Alex says:
he's a upstanding azn wole model
tony says:
i'll tell you what i did love tho... the TIME PARODOXES!!!!
Alex says:
TITITITME PARADOX!
tony says:
anytime there is a time parodox.. i either hate it like a lady gaga song.. or embrace it like a sarah polley film.. this time it was the latter
Alex says:
I thought its a little extra to include spock in the film
Alex says:
why not anyone else?
tony says:
well i dont think anyone else was willing to come back
Alex says:
everyone had good screen time, not feeling Nero tho...Eric Bana? naaaahhhh
tony says:
bana had heart!
tony says:
if there was one thing that annoyed me.. it was the camera glints of light you would get.. i dont like that kind of stuff... it always feels like a cut scene from a video game
tony says:
other than that i honestly cant think of anything bad to say...
Alex says:
they had to make you see all the solar flares
Alex says:
axe handle!
tony says:
OH YEAH!
tony says:
thank you for reminding me
tony says:
the lack of captain kirks most devestating move.. the double fisted axe handle.. first to the stomach then to the back.. was sickening and dissapointing!!
Alex says:
they kept everything true to what little I know about TOS, red shirts dying, green skin chicks
tony says:
BUT axe handle.. thats huge
tony says:
thats his trademark fight move.. that's like having a movie where HHH fighting randy orton.. and the RKO and pedigree are not shown
tony says:
i don't like it
Alex says:
I think they should've worked in a montage during the 3 years of training, other than that, I liked the film
Alex says:
JJ Abram pact
tony says:
fine fine.. but cloverfield sucked
tony says:
ok so i'm gonna give this a 8/10.... solid but not legendary
Alex says:
ummm was awesome
Alex says:
same 8/10

The Chelios Award
Al's Pick: Spocks
Tony's Pick: McCoy and Kirk

Line of the Movie:
Al: Spock: "I'm not our father"
Tony: "My name is James Tiberius Kirk!"

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Once again we are joined by railing seat's very own Ivan, all the way from sunny Croatia!

Aloe says:
SNIKT! SNIKT!!
tony says:
BESERKER BARRAGE!!! BESERKER BARAGE!!!
Ivan says:
DRILL CLAW!
tony says:
ok before we start
tony says:
i would like to say how much i hate watching this type of big film on opening day
tony says:
full theatres really suck... i sat beside a guy that either went to a seafood buffet, or works at a lobster smoking factory... and he kept hogging my railing!
Aloe says:
I wanted to see little kids dressed up as wolverine
tony says:
well someone did bring a baby! sigh... at 10 pm no less
tony says:
ok to the movie... what did u guys think?
Ivan says:
I think that one day they'll make a comic book movie the way I think it should be in my head
Ivan says:
Until then, I'll be content with a mouthless deadpool
Aloe says:
I enjoyed it, plenty of adamantium action!
Aloe says:
Deadpool was great, till they replaced him with Baraka from Mortal Combat
Ivan says:
why do they always have to ruin a perfectly good character? Deadpool is a badass in his own right, and this movie made him seem like a retarded (if that's possible) version of mike myers
tony says:
i read wolverine origins.. and i thought it was mediocre at best.. and now i watched wolverine origins and i feel the same way
tony says:
yes i agree with both of u
Aloe says:
The opening was good too, maybe borrowing something from Watchmen
Ivan says:
yeah, a brief history lesson is always fun
Aloe says:
it further cemented the fact that Logan is not the smartest of the xmen, took the animal 3 theatres of war to realize, hey! my brother, really really likes killing
Ivan says:
You know you make a really good point Al. Some would say he's not the sharpest claw in the toolshed
Ivan says:
ZING!
Ivan says:
until they go adamantium on his ass
Aloe says:
Ah hunnnnh {
tony says:
yeah don't get me wrong hugh jackman is a badass wolverine and he did a great job.. but anytime u throw a love side-plot for a badass... its like hotdog ingredients.. i dont care or ever want to know about it.
Ivan says:
unless it's mustard!
tony says:
condiments are like throwing another badass into the fray.. so that's acceptable
tony says:
i really didnt think i'd like the guy that played sabretooth.. but he was not bad... the first time he did the crawling thing made me laugh though.. it looked stupid
Ivan says:
Yeah, in my expert opinion I think they should have CGId sabretooth completely
Ivan says:
He's way too fn badass in the comicbooks to be played by some human dude
Ivan says:
Can I take a guess at your favorite character in the movie? I think the both of you will agree when I say Will I. Am stole the show!
Aloe says:
I thought another black eye pea retard was going to ruin another film
Aloe says:
but he gets a pass from me
tony says:
was he supposed to be nightcrawler?
Ivan says:
nightcrawler is sprechen zi deutch
tony says:
i think the mpaa should alarm the general public everytime a black eye pea is in a movie.. and they should ban the film if its fergie
Ivan says:
Agreed, i had no idea till i saw his dbag name during opening credits
Ivan says:
i was completely ambushed
tony says:
being a black eye pea isnt a crime i realize...

though it should be
Aloe says:
better than that fugly dood playing vega
tony says:
al i want to get your reaction on the emma frost... another person i thought should've been cg'd.. i know you;re a big fan of hers
tony says:
and ivan as the most knowledgeable comic person here... how accurate was this?
Aloe says:
I can't expect a smoking hot version of the White Queen appearing in an origin film...she still does in my mind...full frontal Jim Lee version...mmmmmm
Ivan says:
it was accurate in that she had the diamond-like transformation ability
Ivan says:
as for the rest of the movie again, i was really disappointed with deadpool
Ivan says:
he's supposed to be a really funny, retarded dude who does cool things
Ivan says:
in the movie he was another mimic type dude with 2909 powers
tony says:
would u agree that striker was pretty awesome tho? i love bryan cox.. but this guy is better
Ivan says:
he played the part of the scumbag perfectly
Ivan says:
he's got such a scumbag face and it just screams "throat punch me please"
tony says:
now i'm gonna say something that might not be so popular... but gambit should've been erased from the film completely.. it seems like they threw him in there just so people could be like, "oh i remember that guy! he throws cards and hes a douche!"
Ivan says:
the same with cyclops
tony says:
yep!
Ivan says:
anything that allows people to say "oh yeah, i know that" makes me throw up
Ivan says:
i hate fluff
Ivan says:
except marshmallow fluff
Aloe says:
the gambit in this film was = to that of a pimp
Aloe says:
magic stick and all
tony says:
BUT al did tell me that he thought wolverine was gonna die when they put the admantium in him... he was calling for the credits
Ivan says:
al, i'm disappointed man
Aloe says:
it was a good call
tony says:
i said , "al how do you think he becomes an x-men then?"

to that he replied, "he's a x-man?"
Ivan says:
defend yourself!
Ivan says:
(insert 5 min silence)
tony says:
we've lost him man.. he's looking at emma frost pictures
Aloe says:
huh
Aloe says:
Emma
Ivan says:
he's fugginbuggin
Aloe says:
so Xavier freaked me out
Aloe says:
walking around all young and shit
Ivan says:
yeah, that was creepy as shit
Aloe says:
the man never looked like that even on the pilot episode of Star Trek TNG...all taught and shiny
Ivan says:
that voice he used to communicate with Scott made me push the alarm
tony says:
he looked like mr. clean
Ivan says:
"can you hear me scott? i want to take you out for strawberry-shortcake ice cream"
tony says:
yeah he looked transulucent... ok well i'm gonna give this film a 7.... wouldve been maybe an 8.. but love plot was so stupid and sickening.. jackmans portrayal is flat on tho... 7/10
Aloe says:
7.5/10 for me, it made up for X-3: Not Part of the Series
Ivan says:
I agree with Tony and I will give this movie a 7 as well. I also thought the final battle was kinda cheesy. Logan would never fight to the death on top of those nuclear smoke pipe thingy
tony says:
BESERKER BARRAGE!!! BESERKER BARRAGE!!! TORNADOE POWER!!! TORNADOE POWER!!!!
Ivan says:
DRILL CLAW!
Aloe says:
X

The Chelios Award
Al's Pick: sabretooth
Tony's Pick: ma and pa kent
Ivan: old man

Line of the Movie:
Al: Logan: "I'm Canadian!"
Tony: Logan: "I'm Canadian!"
Ivan: Sabretooth: " the only one who's gonna kill you, is me"