Friday the 13th: Bonus Review

Bonus review from one of Railing Seat's own. Ivan watched and wrote the review for this movie in Croatia.

Ivan says:
I was nearly fooled into thinking it was Jason, but I like the real one better
Ivan says:
During the opening scene where he hangs the victim in the sleeping bag to a tree, I thought they were paying homage to one of Jason's most grizzly and badass kills of all-time.
Ivan says:
I was wrong. What was wrong with this kill? Jason doesn't torture victims by burning them alive. He smashes their faces in with hammers and impales them while having sex with harpoons.
Ivan says:
Umm, correction. He kills them with harpoons while having sex. Sex with harpoons doesn't really work.
Ivan says:
Oh yeah, hostages? WTF is that? And don't sell me that crap about her looking like his mom and him keeping her alive for that reason.
Ivan says:
Jason has never been, and will never be about some "deeper meaning". This director is also the jagoff who directed 2003's remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Ivan says:
Thus, it only makes sense that he got some of the footage scrambled while putting together the final cut of Friday the 13th.
Ivan says:
Jason's house? Al is right. Jason doesn't have, nor need a lair and I sure as heck don't want to see it
Ivan says:
I have a lot more to say, but I just made myself sick thinking of all the things that went wrong.'
Ivan says:
4 stars. I would give it 4.5, but the jackass kids in the front row were extra annoying. Croats don't believe that silence is golden.

Friday the 13th

tony says:
ok how did you feel about friday the 13th?
Aloe says:
the movie should've ended at the opening credits
tony says:
but the opening was awesome no?
Aloe says:
the first 30min was the movie to me
Aloe says:
the rest was filler
tony says:
for once i totally agree
Aloe says:
no ones wants to see the douchebag prance around
tony says:
how did you feel about jason abducting people?
Aloe says:
dun like it
Aloe says:
and in reality the black guy and the asian dood would've survived, they're smarter
Aloe says:
jason hideout/lair?
tony says:
that made me want to punch myself in the throat
tony says:
i didnt think he looked as menacing as before either.. you?
Aloe says:
he looked liked a giant retarded kid
tony says:
HAHAHA
Aloe says:
that role is reserved for myers
tony says:
agreed!
tony says:
out of 10?
Aloe says:
5.5/10
tony says:
this was terrible for me i'm giving it a 4.5/10
Aloe says:
this does not belong in the vorhees tapestry
Aloe says:
alright fine, 5/10
Aloe says:
but I think the .5 comes from the nudity
tony says:
some creative kills though no?
Aloe says:
yes and no
Aloe says:
archery?
Aloe says:
common
tony says:
true true.. basically i'm giving it a 4 for the opening scene thats about it
Aloe says:
vorhees would only know to jab that thing in someone, not shoot it across a lake at a speeding boat
tony says:
agreed he cant use anything but melee weapons

The International

tony says:
ok thoughts on the international?
Aloe says:
needs more watts, cuz she held the movie together
Aloe says:
should not have burned that bridge, but I'll forgive
tony says:
wait really? are you being serious?
tony says:
watts acting sucked so bad in this movie
Aloe says:
very, watts is awesome
Aloe says:
and hott
Aloe says:
please, she took that car like a champ
tony says:
are you really serious?
Aloe says:
oscar worthy
tony says:
ok now i KNOW you're joking
tony says:
the movie was boring.. i hate to say that about a film with clive owen in it.. but it was.. he was still quasi badass tho.. but having seen taken the week before... it just isnt enough
tony says:
please tell me you really didnt think those things about watts
Aloe says:
too slow of a film, about a threat thats not visible
Aloe says:
no, I like watts, leave watts alone
tony says:
sigh
tony says:
ok out of ten?
Aloe says:
5-5.5 max
Aloe says:
rather see duplicity
tony says:
i'll give it a 6/10 'cause clive is that cool!
tony says:
me too! but i think you're gaming me about the watts stuff
Aloe says:
the best scene is the guggenheim
Aloe says:
watts was stellar in kingkong
tony says:
watts hasnt been stellar since tank girl

Taken

tony says:
ok what did everyone think of taken?
Ivan says:
I think Steven Segal was busy filming Cockpuncher
Aloes says:
007/Transporter got shit on Neeson
Aloes says:
yeah I said it
tony says:
i think the only reason anyone should watch the film is for the BADASS that is liam neeson
Ivan says:
The guy who made transporter also made Taken
tony says:
really? i thought it was the district guy.. same guy?
Aloes says:
Neeson is a badass moooother...shiiii
Aloes says:
you know what, he trained Batman!
tony says:
Neeson is so badass that if he was mel gibson in Ransom it would have lasted 30 secs... if this neeson was qui gon jinn there would be a time paradox.. cause the problem woulda been solved in the first movie.. making the rest of the movies un-needed
Aloes says:
but really, I would've just left her on the island, cuz shes so annoying
Aloes says:
TIME PARADOX!
Ivan says:
I would have done the same with Famke
tony says:
if my dad was liam neeson.. i would want to be taken too..
tony says:
agreed! she was annoying
Aloes says:
ok, really, this movie is awesome, I want to see the Nails scene on the dvd
tony says:
yes!
tony says:
ok out of ten guys?
Aloes says:
7/10 for pure asskicking, shoot your wife for info, purified and filtered down badassness
Aloes says:
but without that....5/10 at most
Ivan says:
I would like to give this movie 6 stars for makin me hate Maggie Grace even more than I did before. Bravo Taken!
tony says:
i give it a 6/10 but the badassness of neeson makes it 8.. but also the annoying daughter and mom bring it back down to a 7/10
Aloes says:
so it'll be a 10/10 if say...mandy moore got the part?
Aloes says:
no no, shes better than that
Aloes says:
biel
tony says:
ivan would never admit that biel would be taken in the first place tho! she survived the chainsaw massacre!
Ivan says:
Do you think the only reason he saved her was to prove how much of a badass he is? Because in reality, a bad mofo like him would never save a brat like Grace.
Aloes says:
true true
Aloes says:
to both points
tony says:
thats a good point.. he may have set the whole thing up just so he could kill guys
Aloes says:
so this in reality is a vacation for him?
Ivan says:
touche tony
tony says:
retirement made him bored!
Aloes says:
but not dead
tony says:
bottom line: this movie made me forget he ever acted in Nell
Ivan says:
Jodie Foster is a boy
Aloes says:
shes a magnificent...aunt