Machete

tony says:
so i'm gonna sound like a hypocrite here having given the pirhanas 3D movie such a bad review.. but i didn't hate this movie... despite it being in the same genre
Ivan says:
umm, we're in another window
Alex says:
are we talking about machete?
Ivan says:
but anyway, let us proceed
tony says:
yes machete
tony says:
it had the over the top violence, and the over the top nudiness but it was fun
tony says:
lohan's character was very very weird
Alex says:
lohan was awesome
tony says:
i'm glad after years and years of playing henchmen, trejo finally got a starring role
Ivan says:
Yes! His day finally came
Ivan says:
he got to be the star and be the hero
Ivan says:
brings a tear to my eye
tony says:
yeah i was happy to see that!
Alex says:
he's still ugly!
tony says:
trejo's got alligator skin
Ivan says:
he's like one of those 150 year old alligators you'd find in the everglades
tony says:
the kind of alligators horatio fights off in CSI miami! yeah!
tony says:
before you say anything else al... was there anything that could've happened in this movie for you to not give it a perfect review, given the shower scene with alba and your reaction in the theatre
Alex says:
more alba? it might have got a 20/10
tony says:
i think you missed the best thing about the film al: michelle rodriguez
Alex says:
I don't like She
tony says:
i'm fully convinced that she doesnt ever act, and has never acted in her life
tony says:
they dont even give michelle a script
Ivan says:
She was being herself
tony says:
they just bring her cage on set.. release her.. and film
tony says:
she's that badass
Alex says:
kinda like nic cage?
tony says:
slightly better
tony says:
but what nic cage does only nic cage can do
tony says:
but we digress
Ivan says:
It was a star-studded cast. Cheech, alba, lohan, rodriguez, and Seagal
Ivan says:
how awesome was he?
Ivan says:
he should do more villain roles
Alex says:
Seagal was the shiiiiiittt
Alex says:
cuz you can't kill him
tony says:
the last scene with seagal was brilliant
tony says:
absolutely brilliant
tony says:
saved the film for me
Ivan says:
Without giving it away, it was AWESOME
Alex says:
this ain't shit!
Ivan says:
they really put all their eggs in one basket with that scene and boy did it pay off!
tony says:
did you guys ever think you'd see seagal on a big screen again? i bet he opted out of expendables to do this film.. and for that i salute him
Ivan says:
Seeing Seagal on the big screen was a childhood dream realized! Three cheers for Robert Rodriguez
Alex says:
I wanted much more machete action though
tony says:
that one HUGE machete wasnt enough for you?
tony says:
it was 2 meters!
Alex says:
I just wanted to see him block bullets and take out an army with the thing, maybe even chop down doors, blockades, sniper towers
Ivan says:
the mega-machete was eXtreme!
Ivan says:
but he did pull off several whirlwind-esque kills. Very impressive, were they not?
Alex says:
way more, way more!
tony says:
with one whirlwind move he offed 5 guys!
tony says:
ivan al touched on this before.. but did u understand lohans role?
Ivan says:
No
tony says:
if you think about it.. she really doesnt accomplish anything..
my dream was that she was put in this film so michelle rodriguez could kill her.. but alas it wasnt meant to be
Alex says:
she was only there for Machete to fulfill his advertised role of him sleeping with his enemy's wife and daughter
tony says:
oh good point
Alex says:
AT THE SAME TIME!
tony says:
good point
Ivan says:
touche al!
Ivan says:
game, set, match!
tony says:
speaking of strange appearance... i'm glad eminem found a role other than 8 mile... he was great in this film
Ivan says:
me too!
Ivan says:
and he was a ginger!
tony says:
i thought he was on tour with his new album but im glad he played the adopted son of mexican rebellions
Ivan says:
way to represent, marshal. kudos to you
Alex says:
they even went back in time to get him to reprise this role, from his youth!
tony says:
hahahahaha
Ivan says:
and he even went uncredited
Ivan says:
how many big-shots do that these days?
Ivan says:
that was a gutsy move
Ivan says:
all heart
tony says:
hahahahah! no but seriously.. that guy looked exactly like eminem.. if you watched this movie you should know exactly who im talking about
tony says:
you know why you're awesome ivan.. cause you mentioned all these huge stars
tony says:
but you didnt say de niro
tony says:
and i woulda left him out too.. so lets not even talk about him
Ivan says:
he wasn't even on my mind. that's what I think of him!
Ivan says:
done and done
tony says:
so overall a fun movie
tony says:
agreed guys?
Ivan says:
very fun movie
Alex says:
it was, but I still prefer pirahna
Ivan says:
much more than Piranhas, but that's just me
Ivan says:
I understand Al, not enough full frontal in Machete
Ivan says:
maybe the sequel will deliver the goods, you so highly covet
tony says:
im surprised al.. only because you face when you saw the alba scene could have been used to sell any product in advertisement
Alex says:
machete macheeeetteee maaacheeeteeee
tony says:
one more thing i wanted to talk about
tony says:
cell phone usage
tony says:
there was a funny scene of trejo texting with his cell..
tony says:
that is all
tony says:
7/10 for me.. fun. seagal was so great.. and i heart michelle rodriguez
Ivan says:
Go watch the movie!
Alex says:
I too shower with such determination and perplexity
Ivan says:
but only if you're 18A
Ivan says:
7 for me as well
Ivan says:
LOL Al
Alex says:
6.5/10 for me
Ivan says:
Perplexity
tony says:
wow i'm surprised al.. and a little proud of you too
Ivan says:
this is how I picture al perplexed in the shower "conditioner or shampoo first?"
tony says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
tony says:
stop looking at me swan!
Alex says:
conditioner is bettaaa
Ivan says:
you guys rule!
tony says:
oh one more thing!
tony says:
michelle rodriguez is also a shaman who dabbles in the black arts..


The Chelios Award
Al's Pick: Torrez
Tony's Pick: michelle rodriguez
Ivan: Cheech

Line of the Movie:
Al: " Machete don't txt"
Tony: "machete improvises."
Ivan: "We didn't cross the border. The border crossed us!"

tony says:
OH we didnt even talk about cheech! you're right he could take heart no problemo!
tony says:
who;s torrez?!
tony says:
seagal
tony says:
nvm
tony says:
changing line to "just because i'm adopted doesnt mean i dont fight for my brothers"
Ivan says:
LOL
Ivan says:
he deserves some credit!