Iron Man 2

A review we wanted to write when the movie first came out, but never had time to. Here it is, late and lame. Enjoy.

Alex says:
I want to model my life like Tony Stark
tony says:
and i saw this movie before, when it was called iron man 1
tony says:
and what they gaind in having don cheadle.. they lost by having a WAY dumber version of gwyneth paltrow
tony says:
RDJ is awesome.. and i have no beef with tony starks character
Ivan says:
Downey always brings it
Ivan says:
he was born to play T stark
Alex says:
(expletive) pls, ScarJo?! c'mon
Ivan says:
she's the WORST heroine ever!
Ivan says:
gimme a break
Alex says:
she could stand there and be awesome
tony says:
i didnt even remember she was in the film
Alex says:
leather cat suit? *shudder
tony says:
they coulda used more mickey rourke too
tony says:
he stole every scene
Alex says:
I got my rourke fill in expendables
Ivan says:
Even there his role was limited
tony says:
scarjo had some cool fight scenes im not gonna discredit that.. but she sucked otherwise
Ivan says:
her fight scenes were the most action packed
tony says:
he probably cant work too long on any movie
tony says:
its in his contract
Alex says:
they'd have to plug him back on whatever juice hes running on
Ivan says:
LOL
tony says:
mickey did the rolento super move from alpha 2
tony says:
"hip HIP!"
tony says:
what did u guys think about war machine?
Alex says:
well done, but need more fire-powa
Alex says:
maybe a proton cannon
Ivan says:
I love warmachine
Ivan says:
always have loved that badass suit
tony says:
he did look pretty cool yeah
Ivan says:
I'm glad it wasn't terrance/torrance/whatever howard
tony says:
but guys i think i speak for us all when i say.. it has been a while since we watched this movie...
Ivan says:
it has
Alex says:
it was back in may, wasn't that long ago?
Ivan says:
but really, what happened?
Ivan says:
intro: mickey rourke's life has been ruined by Iron Man he must get revenge
Ivan says:
middle plotting and scheming
more plotting and scheming
Ivan says:
end: the most anti-climatic ending ever
Ivan says:
epic fight between rourke and IM/WM
tony says:
exactly!! and also i cannot give it a good review because the one thing that stands out in my mind is one particular ulcer-inducing scene.. ulcers of course being caused by H.PYLORI!
tony says:
this scene was when gwyneth paltrow stares in confusion at a iron man drone about to explode.. not realizing what it meant..
tony says:
you're the CEO of a weapons manufactuer! you're staring at a red blinking light thats beeping and going faster.. and you don;'t know its a bomb?!?!
tony says:
RUN YOU IDIOT!
Alex says:
shes new to the job
Alex says:
and distracted by scarjo
tony says:
a red blinking light that goes faster is a gd ARCHETYPE for danger
Ivan says:
it's the gold standard for imminent doom!
tony says:
ivan i agree completely about the anticlimatic too
tony says:
mickey like jeff bridges died way too easy
Ivan says:
I know what else you're going to agree about. Tony Stark discovering a NEW element, using a 30 year OLD architectural thingie
tony says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
tony says:
apparantely he's an alchemist
Ivan says:
he is!
Ivan says:
i like the way they built it up
tony says:
i think i blocked that part out
Ivan says:
they did a montage and everything. him struggling to come up with new crap
Ivan says:
then BAAM
Ivan says:
i've got it!
Ivan says:
it's been there all along!
tony says:
hahaa
Ivan says:
morons
Alex says:
hes Tony Stark, he can make a new element outta anything?!
Alex says:
in a CAVE!
tony says:
equally as rediculous al
tony says:
anyway.. it was fun at times.. 6.5/10 for me
Ivan says:
I'll give it a 7
Alex says:
I enjoyed the buildup to the Avengers, no where near as fun as the first Iron Man, 7/10
tony says:
wow we agree for once!


The Chelios Award
Al's Pick: Blaaaaackkkk Widooowww... mmmmm mmmm good
Tony's Pick: Ayron-Men for wanting world peace
Ivan: christopher lloyd

Line of the Movie:
Al: " Take his bird, pillows; take those....his shoes! Take his Shoes!"
Tony: "i want one!"
Ivan: Rourke, in his russian accent: we must kill the Ayron-Men

Piranhas 3D

tony says:
this is one of the few times ever.. where i honestly felt tremendous shame coming out of a movie
Ivan says:
i didn't say anything, but aroud halfway through i thought "we should just get up and leave"
Ivan says:
first time in my life i've thought that
Ivan says:
school not included of course
tony says:
i woulda left for sure
Alex says:
oh please, its a modern day grindhouse film, 50 years from now, the Tarantino of their time would be recreating what Piranhas 3D has done
tony says:
look i'm not retarded, it's piranhas 3D i get it.. i wasnt expecting citizen effing kane but al are you like the simon cowell of railing seats? do you have to go against everything we say? 'cause i know you couldnt have liked that film!
Ivan says:
I was quite surprised by the amount of positive reviews on RT
Ivan says:
/sigh
Ivan says:
such is life
Alex says:
this film has found what 3D cinema should be, blood and boobs
tony says:
it was an exploitation film!
Alex says:
film was everything it set out to be, it didn't hold anything back or pretend it was anything more, pure blood and guts, boobs, they even got a pornstar to be in the film
Ivan says:
I'd feel even worse if I was in my 30s watching this with all the kids sitting up front
Alex says:
it may not be a blockbuster, but its what summer grindhouse movie should encompass
Ivan says:
a lame one
tony says:
the film was nothing like it was shown to be
tony says:
look at the trailer
Alex says:
tell me what you were expecting, cuz I got everything I wanted and a sapphic underwater 3d boob experience
Alex says:
were you expecting a centre of the earth with Brandon Fraser 3d movie?
tony says:
i was expecting like a deep blue sea, or at the very least an anaconda-esque film
Alex says:
and wasn't? + gore and nudity?
tony says:
you cant compare the gore
Ivan says:
i get what you're saying tony
Ivan says:
it felt like a b-movie
tony says:
Al have you gone completely mental?
Alex says:
unless you were expecting plot and a scientific explantion on how the 2million year old piranhas survived?
Ivan says:
of course not, that's just ridiculous
tony says:
if you're idea of gore has to be THAT severe then you're eli roth incarnate
tony says:
have you seen deep blue sea?
tony says:
it was retarded
tony says:
but it wasnt exploitation in 3D
Ivan says:
and the 3D wasn't even 3D
Ivan says:
that's also bs
Ivan says:
the movie is called "piranha 3d" and it's another post production PoS 3d movie
tony says:
agreed
Alex says:
so what you're saying is, this film was too over the top for you?
tony says:
it was stupid
tony says:
and too way over the top yes
Alex says:
thats all you had to say, whats with the personal attacks?
Ivan says:
lol what personal attacks?
Alex says:
I was likened to simon cowell
Ivan says:
that was weeks ago!
tony says:
hahahaha
Alex says:
I don't appreciate that
Alex says:
but he knows his american idols
Ivan says:
I'm sure Tony's very apologetic and sorry, but moving on
Ivan says:
could you believe this movie feature mermaids?
Ivan says:
that was awesome!
Ivan says:
oh nevermind, those two twats only had mermaid-like breath-holding capabilities
Ivan says:
wtf was that about?
tony says:
yes those girls could hold their breaths forever
tony says:
and i found it impressive as well that the pirahanas had selective killing
Ivan says:
lol yeah
Alex says:
they were full on that other guy that they tossed in as bait
tony says:
al i was talking about when jerry o'connel and that blond girl fell in the water.. why didnt they attack jerry at all?
Alex says:
if I was a piranha, I too would go after the blonde
Ivan says:
so they could use him later as bait!
Ivan says:
duh, the piranhas also read the script, Tony
tony says:
HAHAHA they must have
tony says:
basically watching this movie was like seeing a girls gone wild video directed by eli roth
tony says:
thats the best summary i can give
Ivan says:
it's quite accurate
Alex says:
which I enjoyed
Alex says:
immensely
Ivan says:
Al, you have a lifetime membership to GGW
Ivan says:
so you're quite biased
Alex says:
I enjoyed my piranha exploitation film, years from now...this film will be lost in time, save for those film 'dvds' that are saved and someone somewhere would have uploaded online (or whatever the equilavent is in the future) for all to enjoy again
Alex says:
"few"
tony says:
and al i'm not gonna bash you anymore.. your review speaks for itself
tony says:
i do want to talk about the one thing about the movie i did like tho
tony says:
and that's christopher lloyd
tony says:
he was great.. and his rants were epic
Ivan says:
Yes! He was fantastic. But then again, when isn't he fantastic?
Ivan says:
omg, incredible rants!
Ivan says:
He's still got it after all these years
tony says:
agreed
tony says:
i'm just surprised there was richard dreyfuss in this film and oscar winner elizabeth shue
tony says:
but i have nothing else to say.. terrible film
tony says:
i'm too old for this crap
Alex says:
great film! would recommend, if to guys only
Ivan says:
I was wating for Lloyd to say "roads?where we're going we don't need roads!" and then "Marty!"
tony says:
oh man if he woulda said that.. it would've been because he was senile
Ivan says:
And ving rhames? how the mighty have fallen!
Ivan says:
He was never "good" but still, he's done
tony says:
OH i did forget about ving rhames
tony says:
he's always at least tolerable though
tony says:
3/10 for me
Ivan says:
4/10 becuase i got a kick-ass pair of new glasses!
Ivan says:
but then -0.5 for the salty popcorn
Alex says:
8 >}}}}})'> / 10
Alex says:
thats a fish there...so 8 fishes /10
Ivan says:
oh wait, nvm. i change mine
Ivan says:
2/10 for piranhas 2D becuase that's what it really was
Ivan says:
LIARS!
Ivan says:
make a proper 3D movie you lazy sacks of crap


The Chelios Award
Al's Pick: Jerry o'connell's character, cuz even in death, he cared about one thing
Tony's Pick: ving rhames
Ivan: christopher lloyd

Line of the Movie:
Al: " these piranhas have not been seen on earth in 2 million years!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111onee111.1!!!!"
Tony:"THEY ARE KILLERS, BUT THEY ARE STILL FISH!"
Ivan: " the piranha hunts in packs. the first bite draws blood, blood draws the pack."


tony says:
easily the worst film i seen this year.. watch dead snow for a proper way at making these type of films.. eli roth must be stopped
Ivan says:
AL you can't pick a Lloyd line
Ivan says:
pick somethig worse please!!
tony says:
and al how can you like a film so raunchy it had a floating penis to get laughs?
tony says:
i just need to ask that
Ivan says:
a floating, mangled,mutilated one
tony says:
answer that for us al
Alex says:
I didn't laugh, but it was what it was, and it did a damn good job of it
tony says:
bravo al
tony says:
bravo

The Expendables

tony says:
ok expendables
Alex says:
or old action stars from the 80s reunion
Alex says:
so after Ivan mentioned Sly's running, all I saw in my mind was his hobbeling on the dock scene last night
Ivan says:
If right now was 1989, we'd all be in critical care at sick kids hospital
tony says:
HAHAHAHAHHA
Ivan says:
Think about how badly this movie would have made your brain explode as a 9 year old
tony says:
i was feeling a bit of head trauma regardless
Ivan says:
I used to think Rambo was a real hero.
Alex says:
their presence alone, together on screen would have caused cars and buildings to explode, snipers getting headshotted and women being rescued and one liners to scroll across the screen
tony says:
and i still cant hear as well as i could before going into the film
Ivan says:
what? i can't hear you
Ivan says:
Really though. That was louder than any concert I've ever attended
tony says:
it was like shock and awe
Ivan says:
What they couldn't explode in my brain, they did to my eardrums
Alex says:
I think theres a crater on that island now
tony says:
what island?!
tony says:
that island is no more man
Ivan says:
No man is an island
Alex says:
it sank?
tony says:
if you have five guys like that on an island blowing it up
tony says:
you just have water
Alex says:
theres a hole and water filled up
tony says:
what was more confusing to you guys... trying to read shakespeare for the first time.. or the plot of this movie?
Alex says:
actually trying to understand Rourke's soliloquy was way harder, and comprehending why that was written into the film
tony says:
HAHAH AGREED!
tony says:
wtf did that come from?!?!
Ivan says:
Theoretically, this movie had more potential than any movie ever made. Forget those pansies from the Ocean's series, this was ginormous!
Ivan says:
Quick, name an 80s action flick
tony says:
delta force
Alex says:
Commando
Ivan says:
yup
Ivan says:
one thing was missing
Ivan says:
Chuck
Ivan says:
but, someone from expendables was probably in delta force
Alex says:
then they needed seagal and JCVD
tony says:
they had STONE COLD
tony says:
STONE COLD
Ivan says:
STONE COLD
tony says:
STONE COLD
Ivan says:
STONE COLD
Ivan says:
STONE COLD
Ivan says:
STONE COLD
Ivan says:
ok ok, no more
Ivan says:
i swear
Ivan says:
until later, at least
tony says:
i agree with you both tho
tony says:
in theory this should of worked
tony says:
but....
tony says:
i never knew what their mission was.. i didnt know what the point of the girl was.. angel from dexters character was more confusing than the most epic biblical characters.. and guys from sly's crew kept dissappearing then reappearing
tony says:
and i didnt know randy coulture had wolverines healing powers.. cause the dude clearly got capped
Ivan says:
Yeah, he even fell "dramatically" to the floor as if he would never get up again
Ivan says:
i was ready to shed a tear
Alex says:
Randy blocked bullets with his ears
Alex says:
he even explained it
Alex says:
I think the ratio of each action star to explosion from their individual film works by themselves, but when they are all mixed in together its like 8 action stars to their combined explosion : death : more explosion, into one film, it doesn't leave room for much else
Ivan says:
hence the noise. touche al
tony says:
there were a lot of cool hand to hand moves too
tony says:
ken's axe kick from street fighter
tony says:
and a whole bunch of various heart punches
Ivan says:
omg yeah! Flying heart punches, courtesy of Randy "the natural" Couture
tony says:
made me want to be heart punched
Ivan says:
Tony
Ivan says:
I'll heart punch you tomorrow
Ivan says:
k?
tony says:
k!
Ivan says:
Jason Statham's fight sequences were probably my favorite
Ivan says:
he was sick!
tony says:
but his side story made me sick
Alex says:
he deflated balls
Ivan says:
lol yeah, the side story was a really cheap tactic
Ivan says:
they have to throw it into any action movie it seems like
Ivan says:
female love interest.... check
lover's quarrel....check
visit her again for some inexplicable reason....check
she got her ass beat by the guy she left you for..... check
go find the dude and beat his ass.......check
beat up 12 of his friends as well......check
love restored!
tony says:
hang on guys
tony says:
somethings coming over me
tony says:
...
tony says:
...
tony says:
STONE COLD
tony says:
STONE COLD
tony says:
STONE COLD
Alex says:
so I heard they had to find Drago from the streets for the filming of this movie,
tony says:
drago has aged terribly
tony says:
but i still think stallone looks the worst
Alex says:
would you say there were scenes where they had a wax mannequin to stand in for stallone?
tony says:
HAHAHAHa yes
tony says:
stallone is starting to look like a woman
tony says:
and ivan
tony says:
love restored?
tony says:
they left that in the air.. maybe we can get a rom com spin off of the movie
Ivan says:
oooh!!
Ivan says:
nice call!
Ivan says:
i'd watch
tony says:
and omg... we didnt even mention that statham smiled 3 times!
Alex says:
well, that is a universal truth that I live by, go beat up their current bf, and then they will fall in love with you, maybe even proposals on the spot
tony says:
hahaha 'i'll marry you'
Ivan says:
ROFL
Ivan says:
I didn't mean to side track. Let's get back to our "aged heroes". i think it's a really interesting theme
Ivan says:
Stallone does look disgusting. Repulsive even
tony says:
but stathom! smiling
tony says:
has it ever happened?
Ivan says:
yes! three times it happened, tony. But it was all during the expendables
tony says:
HAHAHA
Alex says:
stallone can smile
Alex says:
still
tony says:
all this
tony says:
and we havent even mentioned jet li
tony says:
or bruce willis and ahnold
Ivan says:
omg!
Ivan says:
he can won!
Ivan says:
trust me, that guy can won
tony says:
he would've win!
Ivan says:
Jet Li really got jobbed this flick
tony says:
guys
tony says:
what was the power rating of the room when bruce willis, ahnold, and stallone was in the church?
Ivan says:
over 9000 without breaking a sweat
Alex says:
it can't be measured
Ivan says:
just imagine
Ivan says:
and really, use all the imaginative powers of your mind
Ivan says:
if Arnold and Stallone did the "dutch and carl weathers arm wrestling" handshake
Ivan says:
how would you have reacted?
tony says:
i'd be dead
tony says:
plain and simple
tony says:
ded
Ivan says:
i would have gone BAT-s**** crazy!
tony says:
and if i didnt die. i'd want to be dead
tony says:
if at any point nic cage walked in.. i'd be dead too
Ivan says:
I'd kill you if you didn't die
tony says:
by way of heart punch
Ivan says:
flying
tony says:
in fact
tony says:
just heart punch me
tony says:
i want to go
Ivan says:
I'm gonna text you a heart punch. brb!
tony says:
HAHAHHA
tony says:
OUCH!
Alex says:
dillon should've replaced the shotgun guy
Ivan says:
that would have been more fitting
Ivan says:
agreed
tony says:
OH THE SHOTGUN!
Ivan says:
let me make sure dillon's not dead
Ivan says:
that could be the reason
Alex says:
the shotgun got credits too
tony says:
HAHAHAHHAA
Alex says:
did you see?
tony says:
did it?!
Alex says:
lol no
tony says:
it should've
tony says:
it would've in scott pilgrim
Ivan says:
he's still alive, but he hasn't done an action flick in about 20 years which leads me to believe he's dying. really slowly
Ivan says:
the shot gun made the earth move
tony says:
dhillon will never die!
Ivan says:
not in my heart!
Alex says:
he shot buildings apart with it
tony says:
all this being said
tony says:
i still have to give the film only a 6/10
tony says:
i just cant give it any higher.. even tho my heart was punched and i almost died
Alex says:
over 9k/10
Alex says:
wait
Alex says:
the movie is rated as many charges were planted
Ivan says:
every time he shot someone with that gun, 14 pounds of flesh exploded from the body
Ivan says:
5.5 for me
tony says:
maybe the shotgun was a symbolism for dhillon?
Ivan says:
i think so!
Ivan says:
Dhillon was the shotgun
Ivan says:
nice pickup tony!
Ivan says:
brilliant
tony says:
maybe we also need a part 2 review of this film?
Ivan says:
agreed!
Ivan says:
we didn't cover 90% of the movie!
tony says:
and maybe we also need expendable tatoos?
Alex says:
I already got mine
Alex says:
Rourke did it, in like 1 min
Alex says:
while telling me a story
Ivan says:
omg, we didn't even talk about Mickey
Ivan says:
jeez, part 2 will be EPIC
tony says:
i want stallone to shoot me with a gun knife
Ivan says:
me too!
tony says:
i just mean that we need to do a part two review for the film.. not a review for the sequel
Ivan says:
that's what i meant!
tony says:
YAY
tony says:
al you in?
Ivan says:
If you can't make it Al, i'll cover for you and do your parts as well
Alex says:
I would like to review the explosions
Ivan says:
damn, a 3-parter!
Ivan says:
HUGE
tony says:
wait
tony says:
wait
tony says:
maybe we do a review
tony says:
on each individual guy!
tony says:
tahts like 9 reviews!
Ivan says:
there are so many layers to this movie, it sickens me
tony says:
ivan wanna change our rating?
tony says:
im thinking 10/10 now
Ivan says:
Guys, i think it's bigger than all of us
tony says:
it is!
Ivan says:
yeah, im thinking at least 9
Ivan says:
wtf were we thinking?
tony says:
changed
tony says:
10/10
Alex says:
kabooooom/10
tony says:
hHAHAHA
Ivan says:
F it
Ivan says:
9.5
Ivan says:
mark it dude
tony says:
marked!
tony says:
look for our in depth review on each individual of the film!
tony says:
boys
tony says:
it was a pleasure
Ivan says:
same here
Ivan says:
i feel like I've grown as a human being
Ivan says:
just from sharing my feelings about this epic piece of cinema


The Chelios Award
Al's Pick: the pyrotechnics hired for this film
Tony's Pick: stallone
Ivan: Stallone for making the film

Line of the Movie:
Al: "pew pew, pow! kabooooom fwooohmp! baaaaang! snikt!"
Tony: "she paints? thats how it starts!!!"
Ivan: "next time I deflate all your balls"

Ivan says:
snikt?? i didn't see wolverine!

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Alex says:
so I didn't really enjoy scott pilgrim vs the world
Alex says:
am I getting old?
Ivan says:
that's a curveball
tony says:
not old
tony says:
we're the same age
tony says:
so you're getting retarded
Alex says:
I dunno, the movie is kinda retarded
Alex says:
yeah, I went there
Ivan says:
Elaborate
tony says:
al i want to remind you
tony says:
you thought hot tub time machine was awesome
Ivan says:
Ouch!
tony says:
so im sorry if this movie wasnt as deep as hot tub
tony says:
but it certainly was way less retarded
Ivan says:
yeah, how deep was hot tub, 40 cm?
Ivan says:
zing!
Alex says:
what is this tran-altanticocean shit?
Alex says:
while I'm sure old me would be like, awesome, some kid thats in a band likes this hot girl and he fights these guys that are all videogame-esque and theres random stuff happening and its in toronto...I didn't get what the hype was
tony says:
let me quote something
tony says:
"Alex says:
while I'm sure old me would be like, awesome, some kid thats in a band likes this hot girl and he fights these guys that are all videogame-esque and theres random stuff happening and its in toronto...I didn't get what the hype was"
tony says:
dude you missed all the awesome things about the movie
tony says:
ivan please help me
Alex says:
like what?
Ivan says:
humor
Ivan says:
it made me laugh, on more than one occassion
Ivan says:
it made me forget about the 7kg book i've been reading the past week
tony says:
the seinfeld spoof!!, the pee bar, the 1 up, the video game references
Alex says:
it was funny, it wasn't lol funny, and wtf is with the seinfeld parody in the middle of the film?
Alex says:
thats just weird and random
tony says:
see you're a hypocrite
Alex says:
so random is funny now?
tony says:
'cause weird and random was why you liked the crank films
Ivan says:
they made no sense!
Ivan says:
but we loved them
Ivan says:
the double standard lives!
tony says:
you just hate it cause i loved it so much
Alex says:
crank films was different, it was action, he needed to get help, fine I can live with that
tony says:
vegan super powers!
tony says:
epic head butt! what more do you want?
Alex says:
I enjoyed the vegan part, but the rest was meh
Alex says:
the tag line was epic movie of epic epicness
Ivan says:
Perhaps Al was distracted while watching the movie
tony says:
yes perhaps he was
tony says:
i mean if you didnt like the film cause michael cera was in it
tony says:
thats one thing
tony says:
and i'd understand that
Alex says:
yeah, I didn't even mention that Cera douche
Alex says:
now Schwartzman
Alex says:
... just kidding
tony says:
sigh
tony says:
i give up
tony says:
i never thought some one who liked video games as much as you did could not enjoy this film
Ivan says:
It seems it's time to move on to the expendables
Ivan says:
I'm sorry to disappoint all of our loyal readers
Ivan says:
sorry, Bird
tony says:
im not ready to move on yet
Alex says:
yeah, I could just go play video games then, why would I watch a film about it
tony says:
that doesnt even make sense
Alex says:
if it was a throwback or nostalgia, then it came too late
tony says:
once again
tony says:
hot tub time machine
tony says:
you're a living paradox
Alex says:
says the guy that doesn't like a polley film
Alex says:
OH WAT!
Alex says:
you've changed man
tony says:
tahts totally different
Alex says:
you've changed
Alex says:
tsk tsk
Alex says:
changed
tony says:
read the review!
tony says:
i didnt say i didnt like her
Alex says:
the reviews are a cover up
tony says:
whatever man
Alex says:
I'm whistle blowing
Alex says:
changed
Alex says:
mmmm nmmm
Alex says:
I'm waving my finger right now
tony says:
you're a cretin... i'm coming very close to beating you to a bloody pulp
Alex says:
I've got vegan powers
Ivan says:
You can't use that joke!
tony says:
agreed
Alex says:
oh so now I can't like it?
Alex says:
trans-altanticoceanic-crosscontinental
tony says:
i dont get you man
tony says:
anyway
tony says:
the film is great... its a bit fast paced.. and if you're older i can see how it would be annoying
tony says:
and the comic is way better
tony says:
and i didnt even mention how awesome ramona and kim were
tony says:
so ignore al and go see the film
Ivan says:
I enjoyed the movie and would watch again.
Ivan says:
The pace was perfect for hyperactive me
Ivan says:
Go watch it!
tony says:
there really is just too many things to mention on how different and unique the film was so i wont bore ppl with it
tony says:
but basically if you ever played mortal kombat or any other video games... then you SHOULD love it
tony says:
if you were dropped several times as a child.. and dont understand the concept of a cult film of this nature (al) then its not for you
Ivan says:
Please Don't let "eat,pray, poop" top it on the charts!
tony says:
9/10 for me.. 1/10 for al
Alex says:
the film just came out, it can't have cult status
Ivan says:
8/10 for me.
Alex says:
6.5/10 for me!
Alex says:
I would buy that Clash of the Demonheads album
tony says:
and the seinfeld spoof was awesome.. and you know it... you just never understood seinfeld anyway.. i guess that goes with being dropped as a child too
tony says:
you WOULD too
tony says:
envy adams lover!
Alex says:
er, her name is Natalie
tony says:
i'll natalie your face


The Chelios Award
Al's Pick: the League of Evil Exes
Tony's Pick: knives chau
Ivan: Knives

Line of the Movie:
Al: "yeah I hit girls, I'm vegan!"
Tony: "scott you are the scum of the earth"
Ivan: "if your life had a face, I would punch it"


Ivan says:
two kim lines!
Ivan says:
ftw
tony says:
hahahaha al you picked the league?!
tony says:
thoughts ivan?
Ivan says:
self explanatory
Alex says:
cuz they have to work together and set aside their differences, thats heart
tony says:
differenceS?!?!
Ivan says:
but they didn't work together!
tony says:
they are united by their common quality!
Ivan says:
he fought all but the twins, SOLO!
tony says:
did you watch the film?
Ivan says:
told you he was distracted!
tony says:
al you were definitely too distracted
Alex says:
I want my own league of evil exes
tony says:
you're scumbag status pretty much guarantees that you will have one
tony says:
ZING
tony says:
your*
Alex says:
don't talk to me about grammar!
Alex says:
chuckle
tony says:
ok that was pretty good

Inception

Alex says:
Yo Dawg, I heard you liked Dreams, so I put a dream inside your dream, so you can dream while you dreams
tony says:
you cant trick me fool, my subconcious has been militarized! but seriously, only in a film THIS awesome can you get away with such stupid and dumb ideas
Alex says:
cuz they were awesome ideas!!!
tony says:
i mean you knew the concept was whacky.. you knew the things the characters said were kinda retarded but you didnt care because it was so damn cool
Alex says:
JGL and Leo were the man(s)
tony says:
i want to BE joseph gordon levitt he is the coolest guy of all time
Alex says:
I'm in your dream, killing your mans
tony says:
i go into your dreams! i kill your mans! is this movie the new matrix al?
Alex says:
maybe it was all a dream Matrix can't compare
tony says:
agreed
Alex says:
or maybe, Ellen Page was inception-ing Leo! oh WHAT?!
tony says:
MIND BLOWN!
tony says:
look there is a lot we can say about how awesome this film is.. but everyone really needs to just watch this film
Alex says:
it can't be explained, it'll get too complicated
tony says:
there are endless possibilities
Alex says:
They should've left Watanade in Limbo
tony says:
maybe they're all in limbo! maybe watanabe isnt real?
Alex says:
oh WAHT!
tony says:
watanabe didnt have a totem hence hes someones militarized subconsious
Alex says:
his totem was his own unbearable pronunciation
tony says:
HAHAHAHA this is true: if i had one complaint about the film it's that i had no idea what he was saying. he needed subtitles.. like how they subtitle morimoto in the iron chef even tho he's speaking english! and you usually hear al say these things. but my goodness marion coutillard is HOT!
Alex says:
she had the crazy eyes
tony says:
i'd go in limbo and wait for an eternity to be with her too. leo had the right idea
Alex says:
they could've picked a better supporting actress, for both of them actually
tony says:
you're stupid! i'm gonna incept you
Alex says:
you'll have to go 7 layers in
tony says:
7 ?!?!?!
Alex says:
cuz you know, the militirzing and I've got ninjas too
tony says:
my subconscious contains only nic cage
Alex says:
ok, you win
tony says:
GO SEE THIS FILM! 9.5/10
Alex says:
I enjoyed the Escher Staircases
tony says:
that was really cool
Alex says:
9/10, best movie this year!
tony says:
the JGL hotel sequence was just mind boggling epic. this film is worth seeing for the effects itself


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: ummmm JGL's Arthur!
Tony's Pick: Leo and his entire crew

Line of the Movie:
Al: "it was worth a shot"
Tony: "his subconscious has been millitarized!"

tony says:
that would be a good couple! JGL and EP. thoughts?
Alex says:
no, I dislike EP to this day
tony says:
she is canadas greatest treasure

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

tony says:
NIC CAGE! thats all that was good
Alex says:
I think Nic Cage needs money, but this is his best role yet
tony says:
as always Nic Cage stands out as a true genius of his craft. his comedic timing is devine
Alex says:
the man is a thespian
tony says:
his range of emotions is inexplicable and he is the greatest wizard ever
Alex says:
his sorc. ways he can change his character as instantaneously as he can throw plasma bolts
tony says:
he would pwn dumbledore in a fight
Alex says:
if he was in WoW he'd trainer, that trained other NPC trainers
tony says:
his plasma bolts are second to none.. and only rivaled by the combined forces of akuma, ryu and ken. i bow to you nic cage
Alex says:
I enjoyed his old man shoes
tony says:
i'd rock those shoes. how about the nic cage death scene?
Alex says:
it didn't happen
tony says:
did he have u convinced? cause i had the kleenex out
Alex says:
he was taking a nap, hes invincible. I think Nic Cage can play any character
tony says:
nic cage SHOULD play every character
Alex says:
I think he should. they should redo the whole movie with just him
tony says:
agreed! now that we covered that. the rest of the film sucked.. the girl was annoying and incredibly stupid (even for a disney character) and the romantic side plots rank among some of the dumbest ever captured. and the fact that the apprentice went from a dumbass to an epic sorcerer in under 15 mins.. was why i dont fear death
Alex says:
I think this film is trying to tell me that Criss Angel is in fact not a mind freak, but a Morganian
tony says:
hahaha true
Alex says:
film was rtarded, only scene I was excited about was the actual Sorc.Apprentice scene from fantasia, and they didn't even do a good job of it with today's special effects. the pacing was all over the place and you just love the love interests in the film
tony says:
stupidest ever! EVER
Alex says:
even Bellucci looked haggard
tony says:
but hey if i have to pay for a ticket that allows me to view the brilliance that is nic cage for 40 or so mins.. i'll do it everytime. agreed?
Alex says:
I wouldn't mind if Nic Cage was in every film from now to the end of my days
tony says:
neither would i! im gonna start a petition for nic cage to be the new dumbledore
Alex says:
new Potter too
tony says:
5/10 for the film.. 10/10 for the cage
Alex says:
Nic Cage as both Jacob and Edward, only way I'm ever going to watch Twilight
tony says:
and perhaps bella too?
Alex says:
4/10 for me, go watch the 10 min Fantasia version. yes and Bella



The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Nic Cage, who else would quest for 1000 years?!
Tony's Pick: who else?

Line of the Movie:
Al: "Sake?! I was in character!!"
Tony: "your go to spell? the plasma bolt!"

Predators

Alex says:
DHILLON!!!
tony says:
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Alex says:
YOU!! Y...YOU!!!...YOU!!!!...CLAP ....CLAPCLAPCLAP...YOU SON OF AAA CLAAP CLAP BIIITCHBIBIBIBITCH!
tony says:
this was easily the second best movie in the predator franchise HAHAHAHDAHDAHA
Alex says:
oh wrong movie, but AHNULD was mentioned as the soul survivor! he bested a ugly mofo
tony says:
WHAT ARE YOU? whaaaaat aaaaar yoooou?
Alex says:
YOU UGGGGLLLYY Y MUUDDAAAFUGGA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoBpzz8qpfY&feature=related
@ 10s in! oh gawd, I'm crying
tony says:
IM IN PAIN!
Alex says:
abs workout
tony says:
DHILLON!
D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D DHILLON!
Alex says:
D.D.Dididididididdididiiiiidiiiiillong LMFAO
tony says:
HAHADHAHADHADHA i cant do this ! 7.5/10
Alex says:
so PREDATORS WAS AWESOME 8/10. 10/10 for the original
tony says:
yakuza, fishbourne, brody = awesome
D D D D D D D D D D DHILLON = Godly

The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Yakusa guy cuz he cut that ugly mofo
Tony's Pick: Yakuza and russian

Line of the Movie:
Al: predator growl
Tony: "i talk too much!"

tony says:
special award: dhillon and ahnuld
Alex says:
Best review evar! special thanks to youtubers
tony says:
agreed!
Alex says:
and Dillon Remixes
tony says:
keep thos remixes going!

The A-Team

Alex says:
Would you say Neeson is still the baddest mofo on film these days?
tony says: oh man its hard to say he is. i love the guy. but his zeus was trash.. and his hannibal wasnt all that great either. i will give him the benefit of the doubt and say yes
Alex says:
but he makes great plans
tony says: he still is the baddest mofo
Alex says:
GREAT plans cuz there is no plan-b! AH HAH!
tony says: good one al. honestly when he was making his first plan.. i fell asleep. i'll tell you who wasnt the baddest mofo.. the douche that played B.A. Mr. T has said he hates this movie.. and its hard to disagree with him
Alex says:
you leave Rampage alone! he lost the fight to rashad because of this film
tony says: and then he cried like a little child about it. mr. t would never do that
Alex says:
I no like Mr.T, he condones Night Elf Mohawks
tony says: hahahaha
Alex says:
thats all I got, the film was standard, and was fun for a summer action film
tony says: i dont really remember this film.. all i know is i didnt like it. this is what happens when we start slacking on the reviews and we have to review a mediocre movie. 5/10.. right in the middle.. since i cant remember anything but how lame B.A was, the theme song still gets 9/10 tho
Alex says:
steered a falling tank by shooting randomly 6.5/10 for standardness


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Face!
Tony's Pick: liam

Line of the Movie:
Al: "I'm WORRIED!"
Tony: " thats a handicap zone! you cant park there"

tony says: oh was jessica beil in this? or was it the sister from dexter?
Alex says:
yes, Dexter's sister was in this film

Knight and Day

tony says:
this piece of steaming turd was lucky to be viewed by us.. 'cause it fell on a week where the next best option was sex and the city 2! i felt this film had a lot in common with the last airbender 'cause it has two actors who need to be stopped as much as m night shamalan
Alex says:
Tom Cruise: ACHHHHH!!! AHHHHH!!! you leave the Cruise alone
tony says:
you still like him?
Alex says:
the man is a Golden God
tony says:
you like this film then? cameron diaz is terrible and cruise is far past annoying
Alex says:
oh I absolutely hated it
tony says:
thank goodness
Alex says:
Diaz looks like that hairless cat Cruise is typecasted movie was so slow paced and even the action scenes were cutout with that schtick, where diaz would pass out and things happen
tony says:
the plot was so stupid that i half expected every scene to be a dream sequence
Alex says:
or was it!!!
tony says:
and they kept playing off the same jokes. jokes that werent even funny the first time and at the end of the movie.. the punch lines were the SAME jokes. wtf?
Alex says:
but it was reversed characters doing it! haaaah? huuuuunhhh! Cruise: AHHHHHHHHHH ! AAAHHHHHHHHH
tony says:
i feel like i want to kick you in the balls
Alex says:
I remember you laughing at the: "I'm gonna kill myself then her" part. you make me sick
tony says:
i never laughed at that! did i? do we have to talk about this movie anymore?
Alex says:
no, cuz I forgot what this movie was about
tony says:
it was about two of the most obnoxious actors in hollywood.. deciding to team up and do a movie that they thought would be cute and funny
tony says:
when really it was suicide inducing
Alex says:
there were some badguys, some chase scene, some kind of romantic thingy, I kept expecting Diaz and Cruise to regress back into their Vanilla Sky characters and crash the car and die and credits roll
tony says:
i wish that was the case
Alex says:
it would've been mind blasting
tony says:
3/10 for me... someone please stop tom cruise and let him know that no one likes him anymore
Alex says:
2.5/10 I'd rather watch Avatar:Racebender again



The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: that kid that made the thing that the badguys wanted, cuz he deserves to be in better movies
Tony's Pick: the firefighter guy

Line of the Movie:
Al: "what day is it? its someday!" ZING!!!!
Tony: "this is me.. this is you without me.. with me.. without me.. with me.. without me." for stupidness


Alex says:
I'd like to point out that Green Zone's Matt Damon character has the same name has Cruise's character here...conspiracy!!!
Alex says:
and did you know that Maggie Grace was in this film!? I FORGOT !
tony says:
oh god i had supressed that.. thanks a lot, you cretin
Alex says:
cuz her performance was too goddamned memorable. we're both cretinzied for having reviewd this dirt flecked feces of a film
tony says:
i'll drink to that

The Last Airbender

tony says:
m night shamalan really needs to be stopped
Alex says:
I'd like to give him a tweest..... twist his neck!
tony says:
hes seriously becoming the next uwe bol
Alex says:
Uwe is better than Shamalamah
tony says:
i mean just because you did one good film.. and i wouldnt necessarily call 6th sense good.... doesnt mean hollywood is your calling! this movie was awful! how do you manage to turn a lovable nickelodeon cartoon.. into a movie that angers even little kids?
Alex says:
Childhoods were ruined because of this film
tony says:
they were indeed ruined! the acting was terrible... and the directing of the film enhanced the terribleness
tony says:
al you seen the whole avatar cartoon.. what did you think of what m night did?
Alex says:
You know there was a petition and an uproar by asians everywhere against the making of this film
tony says:
explain
Alex says:
it was called avatar the last racebender! now, I'm usually the last person to support any 'positive action' bullshit and banding together of a race to complain about stuff, especially asians (chinanese!) but even this I am upset about
tony says:
elaborate! i mean i kinda understand.. but i havent seen as much of the original as you have
Alex says:
just leave it be, you already have all the designs and characters in place, why change it? the chinese characters were not even characters anymore, they were gibberish squigleys!
tony says:
were there even asians in the whole movie?
Alex says:
only the earth kingdom
tony says:
race issues aside it was still a terrible film.. and there was no difference between the 3D version and the normal version
Alex says:
oh, I felt like I was watching Narnia, or the 1st harry potter
tony says:
the love plot between saka and the moon princess or whatever.. was especially vexing
Alex says:
JAI HO!!!!
tony says:
it was like watching an elementary school production written by kids of the cartoon
only the kid haven't really seen the cartoon but have only gone on nickleodeans website and played avatar the game
Alex says:
The only good thing was watching live action element bending
tony says:
those werent even that good! its better in the cartoon! please m night if you're somewhere reading this.. please listen to my advice
STOP!
just stop! you got you're money you cant trick us anymore
Alex says:
They should lock him up somewhere until the rest of the series is finished
tony says:
just please for the love of all thats holy, stop! i hope they dont make another one
Alex says:
movie needed more Appa and Momo
tony says:
just skip this travesty and watch the cartoon. momo was so hideous in the movie but appa was cool
Alex says:
or make a cartoon movie
tony says:
yes! make a cartoon movie i agree. ok im sad we've wasted this much time on this movie 2.5/10
one of the worst movies this year
Alex says:
I got to watch the avatar series, I'm glad about that
tony says:
true thats a small consolation i suppose
Alex says:
3/10, so dissappointed with this film
tony says:
boycotting m night


The Chelios Heart Award
Al's Pick: Appa , he played the part
Tony's Pick: ang i mean anh? i mean an?? they couldnt even get his g d name right!

Line of the Movie:
Al: (worst line): "Earthbenders, WhY aRe u Acting tHiS waaayyy!"
Tony: my 9 year old cousin: "the cartoon is way better!"